Hello Friends.

This is a video capturing an epic occurence that I'd like to share with you. It shows me, Juli Crockett, and my band, The Evangenitals performing at the Old Towne Pub in Pasadena. Caught on this tape is the moment where I, Juli Crockett, first performed an Evangenitals song STANDING UP on stage, rather than safely seated in a chair.

It was disorienting, frightening, and totally awesome. I would very much like to do more of it, as you may note that I could use a little practice.

p.s
I'm not drunk in this video... I'm just gaining my sea legs. ;-)

Please have a look, and leave us a comment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xdZjSq-ydA

Whenever I'm feeling blue and need a little pick me up...

Whenever I feel like I haven't got the energy to keep on keeping on...

Whenever I begin to question my "artistic path" or my "acheivements" or the "value" of my so-called "life"...


I just go here and suddenly...


I AM MIGHTY!

Cheesy as it is... it never fails to make me feel kinda inspired. Maybe it's the sound track.

If you need me to make one for you, I'd be happy to. :-)

I, Juli Crockett of the Evangenitals, made this little 30 second video for a Transdermal Celebration video proposal for Ween. Though it didn't get picked (they made a crazy animated one instead) I do still get to enjoy this little golden nugget of a good time that was caught on tape.

Pee in my pants.

That's what this picture makes me want to do.

Kyle Gass of Tenacious D & Trainwreck fame, posing with my band sticker. Aww yeah, man. We Arr The Evangenitals!

Hi. This is Juli from the Evangenitals. How have you been? Please
let me know, because I'm never sure if you are reading this blog or not.

I hope you've been well. More than well. I hope you're seeing
rainbows with your eyes open and closed. If you're not, maybe I can
help you with that.

Now, I'm not one to usually go for the hard sell, as I'm a much
bigger fan of soft candy. HOWEVER, when the situation so requires, I
am willing to pull out the bells and whistles and do a little tap
dance for "the cause" so... here we go!

This Friday Night, November 17th at Old Towne Pub (formerly the Loch
Ness) the Evangenitals are pullin' out the stops (that means
No-Holds-Barred Evangenital Action) at 10pm. And you can be a part
of it for just $5.

The stylish show flier by our Resident Flier Designer Patrick Ian
Moore can be viewed here:
http://www.evangenitals.com/images/hugeevangenitalsptryxxxpubfl.jpg

That's right, we're Getting Naked (spiritually speaking), lettin'
down our hair, trying some new things, re-visioning some old, and
celebrating drummer GEORGE BERNARDO's Birthday. And friggin' Ninja
Academy is playing with us. That's awesome!

The Evangenitals, for this show, will consist of Juli Crockett, Brett
Lyda, Lisa Dee, and George Bernardo, as usual, with Geof Brandin on
the bass and Bryan Landers giving it to you good on the Pedal Steel
and Electric Banjo. I'd say it's worth seeing all that squeezed onto
the small stage of the Old Towne Pub.

Did I mention that it's only $5 (that's FIVE DOLLARS. 500 pennies.
Only 20 quarters. you see what I'm saying?)

The Full Line Up:
9pm Marty West and the Lower Companions
10pm The Evangenitals(tm)
11pm Ninja Academy
12pm SPECIAL SECRET SHOW. We ain't tellin'. You just gotta be there
to see it.

In other news, have you ever found yourself asking who are the
Evangenitals REALLY are? Off the stage... out of the bright lights
of dingy bars? Well NOW YOU CAN SEE FOR YOURSELF!

This just in! Exclusive "Rehearsal Footage" of the Evangenitals, at
ease:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoMcAXmLaDg

Watching this video may actually give you some hints as to what tunes
may be appearing in our Old Towne Pub set, so check it out!

Much Love,
Juli & the Genitals
http://www.evangenitals.com

Evangina hit the polls at the Pillar of Fire in Highland Park and snapped this ACTION BROOM pic for the collection over at MichaelMoore.com!



How did your voting day go, people? How's the tide gonna turn now?

Mark my words... when I get back from Berlin I am going to post some of the most ridiculous cam phone pictures ever taken by two hands, one thumb, and an eye ball.

Word to your mutter.

For the love of all things good in the world, please register to walk with us, TEAM EVANGENITALS, in the AIDS Walk Los Angeles on October 15th!

We need at least 20 walkers on our team to qualify for our very own Team Meeting Station, and gad'dangit... we want TEAM EVANGENITALS to be a spectacular demonstration of Evangelistic Genital Joy on this day!

It costs nothing but a few hours of your time to walk with us, so please SIGN UP HERE!

If you can't make it and you'd like to make a donation to the cause, you can do so on the so RIGHT HERE.

Thanks,
Juli C & Lisa Dee
Evangenitals

***

TEAM MEETING STATION DEADLINE

Wednesday, October 4

In order to qualify for a Team Meeting Station at the AIDS Walk you need to have at least 20 walkers registered on your team by this coming Wednesday, October 4 at NOON. A Team Meeting Station is a table with your team name on a sign. Walkers will still be able to register and raise money for your team after this date, but they will not count towards qualifying for the Team Meeting Station. As an extra incentive to recruit walkers by next Wednesday, Chipotle has generously donated the prize for our next registration competition!

WIN 100 FREE CHIPOTLE BURRITOS!

The two teams that register the most walkers between today, Friday, September 29 at 5:00 p.m., and Wednesday, October 4, at NOON, will each win 100 Chipotle Burrito Bucks (good for one free burrito) for their team! Last year during this week, over 4,300 walkers registered on teams, and one team alone registered 159 walkers, so the competition promises to be fierce!

Use the Burrito Bucks to have a team celebration fiesta after the walk or give them out as “Thank You” to your donors.

Do you have $1 to save the world?

Hi there.

I am seeking supporters for myself and TEAM EVANGENITALS in the upcoming AIDS Walk Los Angeles. We are seeking sponsors, team members to walk with us, and donations to support the cause.

If you have one single shiny dollar to give, that will do. Every little bit truly does help.

Please give what you can here: http://aidswalklosangeles2006.kintera.org/juliocrockett

You can give to the team, myself, or any of the team walkers. Whatever fills your heart with the most glee. Just do it.

If you are in town and would like to be a part of TEAM EVANGENITALS, we would love to have you. We hope to assemble a grand team of Evangenitalized enthusiasts in the streets of West Hollywood on October 15th for the AIDS Walk. A spectacle. A phenomenon. A concert on two legs, walking down the street.

There are free t-shirts, hats, kazoos and prizes from our sponsors involved. (Some big hitters in the adult industry are rallying behind us for this one, and they've got some cool t-shirts!)

Anything you can do to help is much appreciated. Let's rock this thing.
http://aidswalklosangeles2006.kintera.org/juliocrockett

Also, if you are are part of a business that would like to sponsor our team, we have plenty of bodies to sport t-shirts, hats, and a display table at the event as well. We are also offering links on our websites, and mention in a grand volley of press releases soon to be hitting the front pages worldwide. Bring on the sponsorship!

Love,
Juli Crockett
Evangenital

Do I have your number?

Do you want me to have your number?

I just got a crazy ass new phone from my employer... a Treo personal computer that I can talk through, too. It's nuts.

However, this means that I once again have to input all my phone numbers for all my various and sundry friends and beloved ones.

So here we go. Call me, email me, message me, let me know your digits, if you want me to know them.

And just to prove that I am truly fearless, I shall now post my phone number on the intra-web: 323-251-9645

Make magic happen. Reach out and touch someone.

xo
julio

Oh good lordy me...

I have hereby just formally entered my band, The Evangenitals, into a rock music competition at KROQ.com

May the Great Gods forgive my transgression.

Check it: http://www.kroq-data.com/kroqnow/ii06/bandlist.asp

Stay tuned for when it's votin' time!

- J

On October 15th my band, The Evangenitals, and I will be showing up at AIDS Walk Los Angeles to walk the streets of West Hollywood and we need a TEAM!

I would like to cordially invite you to join TEAM EVANGENITALS and walk with us! We are forming a mini-army of Evangenitalized enthusiasts the take the good word to the streets on this glorious day. If you are going to be in the Los Angeles area October 15th and you'd like to become a member of TEAM EVANGENITALS and walk with us please visit our team page, here.

If you are not in the Los Angeles area, and you'd like to make a contribution to the cause, you may do so either on our team page, or on my personal page, here: http://aidswalklosangeles2006.kintera.org/juliocrockett Every tiny donation helps a great deal!

And I'll be straight with you.... our goal is to raise an unprecedented amount of funds for the AIDS Walk, rouse up a battalion of troops, and get a bunch of media attention for the Evangenitals, our sponsors, and the AIDS Project Los Angeles. That's the motive rundown, folks, as far as I know it. Why not? Let's shoot for the stars!

Now, how will we raise an "unprecedented" amount of money? Well, if a million people give us one shiny dollar, we will raise a million dollars! Or, if one GIANT company gives us a million dollars.... hey, there's an idea!

That's right folks. I'm targeting the business sector currently responsible for about 15% of the GNP to sponsor TEAM EVANGENITALS.... the adult industry! Heck, they got cash to spare, they like press, I work in that industry, and they are actually a very socially conscious bunch overall when you get to know 'em... why not let them prove it? We already have a few major players lined up to sponsor, and there will be many more to come! We are just getting started with this, and there is already a TON of interests from top companies in the adult industry.

FYI: The money raised by AIDS Walk Los Angeles supports the services provided by AIDS Project Los Angeles in addition to other benefiting organizations representing the entire spectrum of HIV/AIDS services. So give. Give like the river of life. Let the funds flow. http://aidswalklosangeles2006.kintera.org/juliocrockett

If you have any questions, suggestion, or crazy ideas about how we can raise funds and create a media typhoon please email me! We need all the help we can get to take this over the top!

Thanks for your support!

Cheers,
Juli Crockett

Alright now... I'm just gonna blurt this out real quick because I think that's the only way it's going to get out. And it has to get out or else I'm gonna go crazy. In fact, I think it's way too late for that. Crazy has done already gone done, and I'm okay with that. Now it's really all about the recon mission to get my god-given goodness gracious back.

What exactly is the problem? FREEDOM! That's right. Eric Fromm nailed the nail right on its nail-ness. Lord, protect me from what I want because it seems that whatever it is I could probably have it if only I opened my arms and said yes, yes, and always yes. However, maybe not. And I'm okay with that, too. The good news is I don't have to know and I never get to anyhow. Ole!

It has occurred to me, several times, usually separated by several years, and always with great and forceful intensity, that we really do, very much, get to determine the definitions of certain things, for ourselves, such as: love, god, relationships, family, faith, right, wrong, reasonable, possible, and then some and probably everything else as well.
So why then, oh land of infinite possibility and boundless becoming, why do I choose to limit myself*? (*if in fact I do choose at all, but I will of course impose SOME limits on the various philosophical espionages that I will attach in this my much overdue essay written for an audience of one) Why am I imprisoned by these small and fearful thoughts of HOW to love, how to exist in a relationship, how to be a member of a family? Why, as such a seemingly creative person in other aspects of my life, do I adopt a strange status-quid-pro-quo personae when I find myself in the midst of a romantic exchange?

In other news... what I fear is that I may be entering into a most ludicrous selfish phase. Horror of horrors! I have begun to think troublesome* thoughts. (*Troublesome, of course, only when I begin to judge them from the danger zone of future-thought and possible outcomes. In the moment these thoughts are most delightful!)

I admit, I have even begun to consider "alternative lifestyles" such as polyamory, ethical slutting, so-called open relationships, farming and other agriculture pursuits. But there it is again! Labels! Even "experimental" is a label. A limit. Where is openness?

So, I'm reading The Power of Now now, like so many other jackasses, and it is indeed working its magic on me. It feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels good. There, I admitted it. There is stillness! There it is! There is the moment! Ahhhhh....

I can't stop masturbating in every spare second I have. (Fear not, I don't have many spare seconds. My health and wellness is assured.) And usually they are all falling right before bed, whilst my quasi-temporary alleged roommate is in the shower, and I'm reading the Power of Now. Never do I feel so in the spirit of things as when in the grips of a shuddering climax. There is the Now! It is here! Now! Aye!

So, because I am sure that I have not been clear at all, what I am suggesting is that here, on the eve of the coming of my 31st birthday, I am. And what am I?

I am fresh out of a 2 year relationship, yet my much hoped for and anticipated "freedom" and "experimental phase" has been somewhat "compromised" by various new "situations" that have arisen in the life of one J. Crockett, so-called "maverick director" according to the god folks of the RedCat Theater in Los Angeles.

What could be called the biggest play of my career is about to go onto the stage next weekend, what could be called the biggest show of the Evangenitals' career recently went down at the Knitting Factory, and what could be called the greatest year of my life is about to begin, again. So, all in all, all is well! All is well!

However, or rather, not however but AND in addition to all of this, I'm feeling good, looking pretty alright, and I'm as horny as a dolphin on ecstasy.

Oh yes, and did I mention that I am now a high-powered executive in the sex toy industry, an ordained minister, working on my PhD in Philosophy, and I have been on a spiritual quest clean and clear of all drugs and alcohol for nearly 5 years. SPICE IS NICE!

I believe, in honor of 31, in addition to some serious social activism and spreading of peace on earth, it is high-time for the straight pepper diet! At least, that's how I'm feeling NOW.

POWER OF NOW!
(at this point, after exclaiming this, you must imagine that I rocket through the ceiling at great speed, one fist thrust in the air with a smile on my face, into the ether, to fight crimes of minimal consequence)

I am full of love.... and balderdash.

Suffice it to say I'm feeling a little o'erwhelmed as of late. Indeed, sir. I am.

Life has gone on and continued to be full, full, and deliciously full. My cup overfloweth, and I am doing my damnedest to stay grateful for the all of it all, and not to whine like a little bitch about how many gifts are bestowed upon me on a daily basis.

I am, however, a bit 'o the little bitch, and I do whine, occasionally. I apologize.

Much of this current 'bout of anxious too-muchness has to do with the fact that I have a cold. Again. It is hot as fucksocks in Los Angeles, and it seems strange plain wrong that a person could have a sniffling, wintery cold in such intense heat.

There's that, and then there is the issue of the scourge which has befallen my face.

Whilst driving in my car the other day, some 'thing' attacked my face. I didn't really think much of it at the time. It didn't really register as a sting or a pain, just a sudden realization of a bump on my face. My face.

I scratched at it absent-mindedly on the way home, and by the time I reached my bathroom mirror to investigate, I had a huge, spreading bruise on my check. Flesh eating nano-spiders was one of the first things that came to mind, shortly after the Book of Job.

Now that bruise has become a strange scab-like somethingorother. I have no idea what is going on... on my face.

I blame Bruce Sterling.

If only I had installed an RFID tag in this MARK OF THE DEVIL then it could be available for bidding on Ebay right now.

I am, firmly, in the ism-schism.

God help us all.

Word for the Day: MAVERICK

mav·er·ick ( P ) Pronunciation Key (mvr-k, mvrk)
n.

1. An unbranded range animal, especially a calf that has become separated from its mother, traditionally considered the property of the first person who brands it.
2. One that refuses to abide by the dictates of or resists adherence to a group; a dissenter.

adj.

Being independent in thought and action or exhibiting such independence: maverick politicians; a maverick decision.

tuning is a fiction

my brain
what i'm thinking
is turtles
all the way down
so is everything
i see

hi there.

i'm in switzerland. i am surrounded by mountains, philosophy students, and sheep. the water is good. life is a-ok.

it takes me 24 hours to get from there (LA) to here (Saas-Fee), and that is a very long time. 2 planes, 2 trains, and one electric bus.

my first flight was from Los Angeles to London, and I got a migraine mid-flight. the first time i threw up, i was able to make it to the bathroom before i lost it. the second time, however, was more of a surprise, and i had to make use of the air-sickness bag for the first time in my life.

there is a first for everything.

this song goes out to the nice man sitting next to me on the plane that threw my baggie-o-vomit away for me, so i didn't have to do the walk of shame down the aisle myself, carrying my sack of liquid sickness.

thank you, sir. you are a true gentleman.

(mis-posted, re-posted)

there is something that i want to communicate, that i love very much, however, it's a place and a time and a visual and an experience so i wonder if i'll be able to explain it with any degree of effectiveness.

when i am walking the dog at night, wearing headphones, and i'm heading toward the 110 North Fair Oaks exit (i am walking down a dark residential street) and i find myself facing the headlights of a car waiting to exit the freeway ramp, walking into the light of the headlights, and this light is interrupted by the cars passing between that waiting car and me -- this is something i love.

it gives me a sense of distance and peace and space and ether and light.

in other news, i hit a young possum tonight.

upon telling the tragic tale to a friend of mine, he informed me that while stoned in high school, he hit a puppy. this, i agreed, was far worse than hitting a possum. not to say that a possum is any less of god's creature than a puppy. i just would have lost my fucking mind if i hit a puppy tonight.

I am tired as hell right now.. however, I wanted to check in and write some things down. Concretize some crap in digital format. What a jackass. I am certainly beyond delirious, but what the hell.

This weekend was insane. Wonderful stuff. 4 performances in 48 hours, and they all came off lovely. First was the play, then the Genitals at Highland Grounds, then the Dead Poet's Slam (I rocked the crowd will my country-fied rendering of the poetry of Edward Abbey, getting a straight Turkey (all 10's) in round two... and my team (Dead Male Poets) won in the men against women competition), then Evangina closed out the night. We tried to be just atmosphere, since it was a mighty chatty affair, however, in the middle of "Love You Forever" the room went dead silent, and we had full attention for the last two songs -- "Not Quite There" and "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" which we hadn't performed in a mighty long time. We sold 3 of the 4 albums I had on hand (I'm saving the last for Jain, who has been demanding one for a while) and we got ourselves home ASAP.

I came home and had to pack for a work-related trip to Mexico early tomorrow morning. Strategic Planning. What is the future of the sex toy biz? That is what we will be determining.

Meh... I can communicate the details, but what I'm not getting across is the feeeeeling. How wonderful it is to feel so creatively productive. Lisa and I keep talking about how we don't want this to end. Other folks give us shit for "doing too much"... but the truth is, this is how we like it. Booked to the gills, shows every night... I only wish I was jumping on a tour bus tomorrow to do it again, in another town. But the rest is good too. I love my robe, my dog, and sleep.

It never ends for long, though. Next weekend, the Evangenitals will throw down at the Fais Do Do supper club, and all will be right with the world.

There is more, so much more, I could jabber on forever trying to articulate the simplest thing. The living flow. When it rains, it pours.

p.s.
Clam Lynch of "Cut the Crap with Clam" is funny as hell. You have to check him out.

Much love,
Juli