Saturday, July 26, 2008

I've been struggling with a deep sadness lately that I can't exactly put my finger on. I think this is due to the fact that there is no single "on" on which to put my proverbial "finger"... whatever that means. It is a mist of shape-shifting feelings and reasons, which transforms into all sorts of causes and all sorts of effects. The main symptoms are the same as always... restless, restless, and restless. Craving for stillness, craving for motion. Craving for security, craving for upheaval and change. Craving for communication, craving for solitude. Craving, craving, and craving... yet another common symptom.

Melancholia is a better word for it. Everything has a tinge of the bittersweet to it. It is a great state for songwriting.
Realization #1: I had intended to buy a new headband before my Cash'd Out gig tomorrow!

Realization #2: This is what is called a "luxury problem".... Life is Grand!

Friday, July 25, 2008

"The Silent Yes"

Last night's dream:

I was working undercover and entered into a huge game being played by thousands of youth world-wide called "The Silent Yes", the purpose of which was to weed out fascistic tendencies in the youth and to test their decision-making powers in complex situations.

First I entered a locker room decorated with propaganda posters celebrating the winning teams, shunning the losers, and advertising missing children. The posters were all red and white and had "YES/NO" and "YES OR NO?" emblazoned upon them, along with graphics of planes dropping bombs, people screaming, or flowers and puppies and peace signs. Every decision within the game was a Catch-22; situations in which some population stood to suffer whatever the decision would be... such as, a plague would be released on a neighboring village if residents of the already-infected village was not exterminated quickly... WHAT DO YOU DO? Whatever the youth teams decided would actually happen. Genocides, wars, etc.

I was given a new name (my sister's name, Jaimee) and some money to get started in the game. Before I'd even entered the playing field, I made my first mistake and made eye contact with a more advanced player. Eye contact with any player who had been in the game longer than you was against the rules, so it was safest to never make eye contact with anyone, ever. This of course made it very difficult to solve a crime within the game, due to the fact that I couldn't identify anyone very well without risking "losing".

"Losing" was awful. There were these pixie-like creatures that were about 1 foot high, reddish colored, and rather beautiful. They had elegant, delicate hands with long, slender fingers and incredibly sharp nails. Whenever anyone broke the rules, a Pixies would be released on them and while a gentle wave of their hands their sharp nails would literally split the "loser" right open. The Pixies would playfully swat at the bodies in innocent glee while skin and guts spewed everywhere and the person was instantly killed in an incredibly gory manner.

Whenever someone had a "birthday" there would be a huge party in which all of their best game moves would be shown in a cinematic montage on a giant movie screen. Every single thing that anyone did was videotaped.

The point of the game truly was to find the few pure, peaceful souls in the world that could make the right peaceful, loving decisions even in the face of tremendous pressures and hardships. Only these people would have the ability to speak The Silent Yes... and it was the Silent Yes that could save us all.

And after all that..

I dreamed that my tortoise died. :-(

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Inspired by David Hurlin's latest entry on his Dynamics of the Drum blog:

"where telepathy fosters the radiance of self sufficiency"

that is the place! the placeless place. the where its at, with it being nothing at all. the hole. the void. the empty room.

all day i have felt like crying. "who's pain is this?" i ask. methinks i am like a sponge, soaking up the feelings of others.

last night i dreamed of exploring a deep cave half-filled with crystal water. we were wading through. something in me knew that the water was sorrow. beautiful, perfect, perpetually flowing sorrow.

i also dreamed of being bitten by an adorable vampire puppy.

of what will we dream tonight, friends?

Sweet Love say
Where, how and when
What do you want of me?...

Yours I am, for You I was born:
What do you want of me?...

- Saint Teresa of Avila
While taking a walk at night with my lover and our dog I discovered the following in the grass:


Closer Inspection Revealed Eyes Peeking:


An unreal sleep of an unreal baby.

Further along the road... a discarded balloon:


Nothing is Sacred.


Friday, July 18, 2008

on this night, the evangenitals jammed...

it's really late, i'm fresh home from a gig, sleep deprived and hungry, thirsty and in love.

at some moment or other during tonight's show, i experienced a joyous and profound love for every single band member and was filled with genuine child-like GLEE at just how lucky i am to be making music with each and every one of these people

we HARMONIZE. we join in song and make waves. it is collaborative and creative and generative and magical and i'm simply stupid in love with the whole marvelous thing.

the feeling of really, truly being in a band is something i fantasized about as a child and feel absolutely blessed to be experiencing, in burst of vibrating sound and light, on stage and off with the people of the evangenitals.

so yes, all you evangenitals out there, both the ones on stage with me and the ones in the audience who help our music to thrive with your open ears, open hearts, and goooooood energy, thanks for letting me love you. it feels real good to feel good in your direction. :-)

love,
juli

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Just saw an ad that said,

"I got my degree while working full time"


Why on earth is that supposed to be appealing????

Sunday, July 13, 2008

micro-blogging, via Twitter, has had a serious effect on my macro-blogging, via Blogger and/or any of my other various blogs, be they on LiveJournal, Myspace, Wordpress, etc.

communicating piece by piece, bit by bit, i'm limited to mini-thoughts, and not having any mega-dish sessions of writing about life love feelings goings ons etc.

everything limited to 160 characters or whatever fits in a single sentence ADD burst of not too much information. something chatty and fun.

i did, however, have a 3 and 1/2 hour conversation with a very sad 21 year old girl last night while eating homemade vegan curry. that felt like being of service to humanity.

i am so grateful that i have a boyfriend that i adore who is an amazing cook and has the softest most touchable skin i have ever felt.

when i was breaking up with my ex he put a curse on me... it didn't come true!

blogging, for me, is the place to be embarrassingly un-deep. as if the world wide websurfers were invited to read my high school journal.

i didn't keep a journal in high school... only a highly coded date book/calendar which would, via symbols, remind me on which days i did which drugs and what sex acts and with whom. these were the key facts of my existence that struck me as "worth remembering"

once, in high school, i took (stole) all of the thermometer's from chemistry class, brought them home, broke them open, and made myself a glass full of mercury. i played with it often... spilling it on the rug and picking it up with my bare hands. as far as i know i am fine.

there are so many projects that i have started and haven't finished. i am feeling a call. the call.

a sound/image struck me today:

my relationship with god = a jolly game of marco polo. i say "marco" and wait for the response. a sign comes. "polo". i move one step closer.
Patrick and I had an awesome day today, and you can read about it here. Click this.

:-)

Monday, July 07, 2008

I recently went on a Colorado mini-tour with Cash'd Out, the world's premier Johnny Cash tribute band, in which I count myself blessed to be singing the June Carter parts. It was in Veil, Colorado, our 3rd show on the trip that I realized upon the dance floor that I was completely in love with this job, this band, and this whole adventure/experience in music that I'm having.

Prior to the show, we were all sitting around having dinner and geeking out over an article/interview that had come out in the paper that day about Cash'd Out and our appearance in town. It was the first time my name had appeared in print in association with the band (albeit misspelled) and the whole thing was pretty exciting.

I just found the article online, and figured I'd share it with y'all. Follow this link:
Johnny Cash Tribute Band - VeilDaily.com

Hopefully you'll be able to come and see me in action in this new gig. It's really something else, very different from the Evangenitals; in Cash'd Out I wear dresses and heels and makeup and curl my hair and pretty much sound the profound depths of my inner girlishness.

Much to my surprise, it turns out I'm quite a lady and am having the time of my life letting my femme flag fly. :-)

xo
julio

Saturday, July 05, 2008

If you only read one chapter of Herman Melville's Moby Dick, let it be Chapter 23, "The Lee Shore". It rocks my soul boat, every time.

In case you don't own the book, here's the Chapter, in full, all 6 inches of it, for your enjoyment:

Some chapters back, one Bulkington was spoken of, a tall, newlanded mariner, encountered in New Bedford at the inn.

When on that shivering winter's night, the Pequod thrust her vindictive bows into the cold malicious waves, who should I see standing at her helm but Bulkington! I looked with sympathetic awe and fearfulness upon the man, who in mid-winter just landed from a four years' dangerous voyage, could so unrestingly push off again for still another tempestuous term. The land seemed scorching to his feet. Wonderfullest things are ever the unmentionable; deep memories yield no epitaphs; this six-inch chapter is the stoneless grave of Bulkington. Let me only say that it fared with him as with the storm-tossed ship, that miserably drives along the leeward land. The port would fain give succor; the port is pitiful; in the port is safety, comfort, hearthstone, supper, warm blankets, friends, all that's kind to our mortalities. But in that gale, the port, the land, is that ship's direst jeopardy; she must fly all hospitality; one touch of land, though it but graze the keel, would make her shudder through and through. With all her might she crowds all sail off shore; in so doing, fights 'gainst the very winds that fain would blow her homeward; seeks all the lashed sea's landlessness again; for refuge's sake forlornly rushing into peril; her only friend her bitterest foe!

Know ye now, Bulkington? Glimpses do ye seem to see of that mortally intolerable truth; that all deep, earnest thinking is but the intrepid effort of the soul to keep the open independence of her sea; while the wildest winds of heaven and earth conspire to cast her on the treacherous, slavish shore?

But as in landlessness alone resides highest truth, shoreless, indefinite as God- so better is it to perish in that howling infinite, than be ingloriously dashed upon the lee, even if that were safety! For worm-like, then, oh! who would craven crawl to land! Terrors of the terrible! is all this agony so vain? Take heart, take heart, O Bulkington! Bear thee grimly, demigod! Up from the spray of thy ocean-perishing- straight up, leaps thy apotheosis!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

"The Joy Team"

Tonight was a very, very good night for the Evangenitals. Something happened in that room that is important, magical, beautiful, and GOOD. A bubble floated in front of my eyes during Quee Queg, illuminated by a shaft of stage lighting. Henry played the blues, Lisa sang Opera, David joyfully created a collective heartbeat, and Keith's debut with us on the bass filled my backbone with deep, happy thuds of glee.

For the first time tonight, an interpretive-dance gunfight was staged in the audience (can it really be called it an "audience" when they are such a part of the show?) during Sergio by Stodder & Crystal, Laura wore her Evangenitals t-shirt, I could see Albert's smile in the dark, Keith's mom glowed with pride, Kelly Chase of Hammerspace danced, the guys from With a Bible and a Gun nodded in approval (ah, winning the respect of the other band is a great feeling, especially when they are friggin' awesome). Bubbles were blown. Moments were shared. All present were given a nice sonic bath in everlovin' Evangenital joy.

We were given a new nickname... "Team Joy". Thanks Stodder. I like it very much.

Next stop, the INTEGRATRON!

And now, I sleep.

I love you, dear reader, whoever you are, with all my heart. Just because.

Love,
Juli

Sunday, June 15, 2008

it never fails to make me feel insanely grateful when folks come out and show up for an Evangenitals show -- or any friggin' show for that matter!

there was so much good love in the room tonight, and so many people that I really care about. i was so glad, specifically, that albert and laura and robin and greg and nirvan and levi and patrick and dennis and david and andrea and nick and christine were all there to hear the new evangenitals tunes, and soooooo friggin' happy that they all seemed to like them so much. it seems "i'm sad" is the new unassuming hit song. you can look forward to hearing more of that at upcoming shows -- somewhere in the middle, right before we start rockin' to the end.

i've been thinking of opening sets with "bad town" lately, just to kick the barn doors open and establish ourselves clearly. WE ARE HERE! we used to start all the sets off slow and easy and work our way up to the shit-kickin', but i'm thinking it may be best if we just cut to the chase and squeeze the slow in the middle somewhere. i'm really enjoying playing with henry bermudez and david hurlin... they bring such great energy and enormous talent to everything they touch. it's an honor and a privilege to share the stage with them, and ESPECIALLY to have them playing with tunes that i wrote. ridiculous.

i wish we could have played more songs tonight... the show was running late, though, and i had promised to play the new stuff. i had really wanted to do "it takes a long time" for nirvan and levi, and the new version of "the hole" -- klezmer style. ah, well. that's what future shows are for, i suppose. as for now, i need sleep. i've got a long drive to Bakerfield in the a.m. with the Cash'd Out boys where we'll be playing some sort of a "soccer fundraiser" event... With all of Cash'd Out piling into one automobile, i am actually looking forward to the drive. :-)

Loving you, through it all,
Reverend Juli of the Evangenitals

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

This is going to be quite a long weekend... and a great one!

On Friday I'm heading up to Sin City with Evangenitals drummer George Bernardo to play with our *other* band, San Diego's "Cash'd Out" -- the world's premier Johnny Cash tribute band! George is their skin-beating rhythm train and I'm their dress-wearin', hair-curlin' June Carter Cash. We're playing at the Icehouse in Vegas on Friday, and then heading to the Goathead Salon in Phoenix for a gig on Saturday. It's my first time on the road with Cash'd Out and I'm EXCITED!!! It is NOT my first time on the road with Georgie; we spent a month together in The 1 Second Film's Road to Oprah bus!

So, if any Evangenitals fans out there live in Vegas or Phoenix, come and see Georgie and I get our Johnny Cash on! I may be able to score a couple of comp tickets for each show... so hit me up if you'd like to go.

Sunday morning I fly back to LA in time for the Evangenitals to rock the back porch of the Echo for the Grand Ole Echo Country Music Jamboree. We're assembling a crew of extended Evangenitals family members for an acoustic hootenanny out by the barbecue. I'll admit it, the 3 hours of music that we're going to be playing will serve a double purpose: 1) it will be an awesome fun music time, and 2) it will be a good rehearsal for our "plugged in" show the VERY NEXT NIGHT at the Bordello.

Yes, you thought this weekend of madness would be over with the show on Sunday, but no! We continue...

On Monday night, Lisa Dee and I are singing with Artichoke at the Silverlake Lounge (9pm) and then running over to the Bordello for an Evangenitals show at 11pm. At the Bordello we're playing with an awesome Western Swing 3-piece from Austin, TX called "Shotgun Party" whom I highly suggest y'all come out and give a listen to. They've got the goods! :-)

On Tuesday, we're auditioning a potential new bass player to bring in the extended Evangenital family fold! Yee-haw! I get very excited about meeting new talented people.

On Wednesay, I will try to rest up for the NEXT weekend which is full of improv shows with my group HAMMERSPACE and an Evangenitals gig at the Room 5 Lounge where we'll be debuting a handful of BRAND NEW SONGS that I've been tinkering away at in my room! I hope that many loving and supportive friends come out for that show, cuz I'm going to be SCARED!!!

Life is good. Love is good. It's all good.

Love,
Juli

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Hi there.

In case you're looking for something fun and free to do tonight, I'd like to invite you to help me win a place in history -- or at least a shot on the Mainstage at the iO WEST, where I have been studying improv for about a year now.

At 10pm tonight (Thursday May 29th) my improv team HAMMERSPACE (http://www.myspace.com/hammerspace_improv) is going to be "competing" in a "student cagematch" at the iO's "Andy Dick Theater". It's pretty much a popularity contest in which the team that can convince the most folks to come and vote for them wins, and what they win is the priviledge (or burden) of coming back the NEXT week to defend their Thursday night spot. Now, we usually don't care at all if we when or not.... but this is the last Thursday of the month, and on the last thursday of the month the winning them in the student cagematch becomes the INSTANT COMPETITOR on the MAINSTAGE of the iO, which is a hell of a lot of FUN! So, for that reason, we wouldn't MIND winning this week.

If you could come and vote for us, that would be awesome. Heck, even if you come and DON'T vote for us, it would be awesome. The more, the merrier. It's ALL AGES and it's totally FREE.

The details:
Thursday May 29th
10pm

iO WEST's Andy Dick Theater
6366 Hollywood Blvd (enter on COSMO, not Hollywood Blvd)
Los Angeles, CA
http://west.ioimprov.com

Hope to see you there.

Thanks!
Juli

Thursday, May 22, 2008

I wanted to let any of you out there in cyberspace who may care about two COMPLETELY IMPROVISED and totally FREE shows that I'm going to be in THIS WEEKEND at the iO WEST's Andy Dick Experimental Black Box Theater.

Yes, someone named a theater after Andy Dick...

1) Friday May 23rd at 11pm (following Heather & Miles at 10pm, who are incredible and I highly recommend seeing them)

2) Saturday May 24th at 8:30pm (following Laurel Coppock's "Breakdown City" at 8pm, which I can't recommend highly enough!)

I will be performing with my improv group HAMMERSPACE (www.myspace.com/hammerspace_improv).

These shows are all-ages, totally free, completely improvised, and really go a lot better and are more fun (and funny) when there's a good crowd... so it would be awesome if you could make it and see me wrestle with my new creative obsession -- LONG-FORM IMPROV!

Here's the details:
HAMMERSPACE
5/23: 11pm
5/24: 8:30pm
@
iO WEST - Andy Dick Theater (*note: this is not the mainstage, the entrance to the Andy Dick is on COSMO)
6366 Hollywood Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90028

http://west.ioimprov.com/

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Greetings my friends.

I have made a play. It is called "The History of Water" and it is being presented at the 24th Street Theater as part of their Saturday Explorer Series... meaning that it's a cutting edge piece of theatrical joy that's recommended for ages 7 & up. Bring the family, bring your mom, bring you lover... there's something for everything in this erratic, dramatic exploration of the substance that makes up most of our planet, and most of our bodies.

The piece features performers Shaughn Buchholz, Lisa Dee, Andrea LeBlanc, and Patrick Ian Moore with musical accompaniment by JP Houston and a very special musical cameo by Artichoke's Timothy Sellers.

There is one show only this time round, so this is indeed the time to see the History of Water!

Reservations are HIGHLY recommended.



Hope to see some of your friendly faces there!

evaCheers,
Juli

Saturday, April 26, 2008

I’m whupped. I missed Improv class at PCC today to work on the History of Water play that I’m writing/directing… it shows on May 10th at the 24th Street Theater and it’s really coming together nicely. We had a 4 hour rehearsal today, from 4-8pm, which featured my favorite food “Falaquitos” – an original creation by Patrick Ian Moore, my lover and boyfriend, who combined falafel, black beans, corn, carrots, black olives, cashews, sunflower seeds, avocado, seasonings, and probably some more stuff I’m forgetting into a delicious filling for a white corn tortilla-wrapped taquito grilled in olive oil. I think Lisa Dee ate 6 of ‘em! They are AMAZING.

Post-rehearsal Patrick, Lisa and I headed over to the San Gabriel street fair to catch Evangenitals drummer George Bernardo playing in yet ANOTHER tribute band, “Proud Mary” – a Tina Turner tribute, for his 9 o’clock set. He finished just in time to run over to his Cash’d Out gig at LIFE on Wilshire. Unfortunately, I wasn’t singing with Cash’d Out tonight… their original June, Ginger Rees, was able to make it all the way up from San Diego to do the show. (She gets first pick of the shows she can make... and that's alright. :-) See! I know how to share!). I saw Ginger singing with Cash'd Out the first time I saw Georgie playing with them at the San Diego Fair on the 4th of July. Ironically, I was soooooo envious of what an awesome gig it would be to sing the June Carter parts in the greatest Johnny Cash tribute band ever (she did a great job, too) and alas, now I get to have a shot at it! Wonder of wonders, the beauty of this world is ceaseless.

I *do* get to sing with Cash’d Out tomorrow night (which is now tonight, because it is late) Saturday April 26th, at the House of Blues in Anaheim. Cash’d Out is opening for Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine and it should be a super-good night of music. It will be nice when I get to play a show with them in LA, though, so my nearer and dearer can come check me out in my dresses and heels. It’s a crazy sight!

After tomorrow’s Cash’d Out gig I have a bit of a break from shows of the musical and improvised variety in order to focus on getting the play ready for it’s big day on May 10th. Right after that, however, it is full steam ahead with upcoming Hammerspace, Cash’d Out, Artichoke, and Evangenitals shows.

In randomly personal other news, my old boxing trainer Dub Huntley would be so proud of me right now… I currently am walking around at my old fight weight! NEVER did I do that back when I was boxing! I was always walking around about 10 lbs (at least!) heavier than weigh-in. Patrick and I started this experiment with portion control and the results have been crazy… we just keep losing weight. It’s totally weird and awesome. Next step, build lean muscle! So we’ve been lifting weights, doing pull-ups, and we ordered a pair of vegan focus mitts and I’m going to teach him some basic punches. I think I’m finally sane enough to be able to do boxing exercises for fun without starting to plot my comeback. ☺

Friday, April 25, 2008

Date Night Doldrums? How 'bout some Johnny Cash!

Hey there.

This blog entry is intended to simultaneously inform/invite/intrigue you with the news of my newest career move -- oh yes, I'm up to MORE excitement! I'd like to share the good news with you.

On Saturday night (4/26) I'm going to be performing at the House of Blues in Anaheim with "Cash'd Out" (www.cashdout.com) the only Johnny Cash tribute band to be endorsed by the Cash family. I'm singing the June Carter parts, and I'll be wearing a dress. This will be my 3rd show with Cash'd Out this week, and I've been having a BLAST! It's VERY different from my Evangenitals antics, that's for sure.

Just in case you were wracking your brain in search of an adventure, a road trip, and a good date destination for this weekend, I thought I'd let you know! :-)

Here's a link to more info about this show:
http://hob.com/tickets/eventdetail.asp?eventid=51064

There are more gigs to come for sure, and if you're interested in coming to a future show closer to LA, let me know and I'll keep you posted!

Much love,
Juli