i want what you want

reciprocally inspired by drummer tabla philosopher poet player enthusiastically inclined zen dada motivational speaker david hurlin of the drum theory and revelation blog i've decided to write this abandoned blog entry here now tonight at this very moment because i am to some extent or another what i would consider to be BEHIND SCHEDULE with THIS, my personal blog.

i will, however, now utilize some punctuation, which AT THIS MOMENT strikes me as a funny word in it's relation to punctuality and is something that i will now have to dig up the root on, define for myself in poetic fashion, and perchance make a graph determining the intersection and the direction of these two terms. if it makes a cross, i will not be in the least be surprised, yet utterly delighted at the repeating pattern.

so, what's what? life is good. the evangenitals are playing shows. i just got hired by my alma mater CalArts to direct a really wild opera. lisa dee is blogging again. i'm going to start learning TM tomorrow (today). my student loans came through, giving me the illusion of financial security for the time being. cash'd out gigs continue to be a blast for me and i'm becoming more and more of an essential part of the show. i'm reading more, feeling more, thinking more, writing more, loving more, feeling my heart open it's barn doors more, tasting and sensing and aching more acutely. and i smell a lot. :-)

i helped a friend move today. i read nietzsche today. i spent a couple hours in a bookstore today and ran into some folks i really like. i talked about poetry with a stranger today. i lifted a lot of boxes and moved furniture. i ate a spicy thai salad. i saw my old boss. i got pulled over by a cop for my headlight being out and he didn't give me a ticket. i watched a movie on netflix today. i got to see mister turtle's sleepy/closed eyes today, which is one of my great ecstatic joys of pure adorability. today was a good day.

tomorrow. today. it's late. same difference. the sun doesn't actually rise anyhow. :-)

love always. seriously.
reverend juli crockett

Fucking

If I fall any deeper (into this horrific joy love)
Without a doubt unflinching I'm going to
Fucking
Drown choke on blood from the great oceanic heart
Pumping the good rhythm all the way into breaking bones
Powdered
Unresisting

If I look any longer (into this blinding light)
Without a doubt my eyes will
Fucking
Shriveled unseeing spots of black ash glowing spirit beads
A new musket I am rightfully named "shoots self in the foot"
Tripping
Maimed

If I breathe any longer (this infinite cold breath)
Without a doubt my lungs will
Fucking
Burst buoyant flame blasted hot air floating ropeless
Shrieking land locked tempest worms the moist dirt inspiring
Groundless
Unproven

If I touch once more (this body inhabiting)
Without a doubt the I will be
Fucking
Curvilinear endless hunger ever-blossoming exponential sweet tooth
Carnival locked door integrity fast one two three HOW DID HE DO IT?
Slowness
Silence

To review,
Without a doubt the I will be
Fucking
Powdered
Unresistant
Tripping
Maimed
Groundless
(This chapter has been removed from the original)
Unproven
Slowness
And the rest is silence.

(\'ok\)

living in a state of nature
related by one common characteristic
singular divided into several
isolated, unusual
the inside is still
abstaining
a static photograph, designed for taking
uttering no sound
free beyond normal
to be present
in any manner
meaning must
time to stay
part or whole
obligation, things to do
to stand, the wind at our backs
ACCEPT
to experience
a way with words
a certain place
all one is
mercy
look at that
have it
one that is
compassion
a blessing begged for
an act
divine
no way to protect oneself
from grace
a willingness
a short prayer:
(thanks for his regeneration
in his place, ease)
the givers giving thanks
to cause to flow
two musical tones
a second apart
one against an other
to and fro up and down
in order to mix
flourish
clasp hands
to cause
to move
to tremble
to free oneself
(I want to talk to you alone)
weaken
dance
hurry up
an ocean
a body
a diagram or graph
with laughter, rings of growth
a very brief period of time and depth
some breaking or parting
so as to be connected to form
the cross on which Jesus was crucified
merging, maintaining identity
the existence of a real
to what he already knew
the form, without forming

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

- Rumi