Drunken Sailor
Originally uploaded by juliocrockett

I just got home from the El Cid show and I've already uploaded the photos for your viewing pleasure!

It was a great, short, barn-burner set. I wore my long-sleeved cowboy shirt and paid the price by getting some sweaty pits from all my running about.

I figure it proves I was working hard. :-)

Thanks to those of you who came out to the show, played along, and for all the hooting and hollering.

If you missed it, this photo set (taken by Patrick Ian Moore) actually gives a pretty good idea of just what went on over there.

Hope to see you all next weekend at the Old Towne Pub. Until then, please enjoy, comment on, spread around all these Evangenitals pics that I've been obsessively uploading onto Flickr.

Love,
Juli & the Evangenitals

The Evangenitals take over Universal Citywalk with Rock Sermon

Former employees of a sex toy company have joined together in musical harmony to spread the gospel of love in the form of alt-country, indie-pop, psychedelic rock, acoustic ballad, folk tunes. Universal Citywalk has the cojones to let them close out their summer music series.

read more | digg story

Proud Meat Eater?

Please watch this (all the way through, no cheating!) and then enjoy your carne asada tacos:

Meet Your Meat!

There's a scene at the end that is priceless.

:-)

Did ya hear???
Originally uploaded by juliocrockett

I finally posted the wild and wonderful photos from The 1 Second Film's "Road to Oprah" fundraiser that took place at Mr T's Bowl in Highland Park, Los Angeles, California, USA.

Vermouth, Cousin Junebug, Ollin, 8 Bit, and the Evangenitals all threw down the music and mayhem at this awesome event... and if you watch the slideshow in fast motion while listening to Gasoline, it almost feels like you're at an Evangenitals show!

Thanks to Patrick Ian Moore for taking all the pictures. :-)

1 Second Film Drives 10,000 miles to ask Oprah for $1

Absurdly awesome one-second film that allows anyone to be a producer for $1 and donates the profits to charity. They are gearing up to drive a school bus 10,000 miles across America to ask Oprah for $1. Kiefer Sutherland and Stephen Colbert already donated. What will Oprah do?

read more | digg story

Lisa and Juli

Lisa and Juli
Originally uploaded by alexiperplexy

This awesome picture was taken by Alexi at my birthday hooter-nanner on July 28th at Highland Perk!

Thanks Alexi!

You can click on the picture to see more and some other cool pix of Alexi's on Flickr.

:-)

1. A call to adventure, which the hero has to accept or decline
2. A road of trials, regarding which the hero succeeds or fails
3. Achieving the goal or "boon," which often results in important self-knowledge
4. A return to the ordinary world, again as to which the hero can succeed or fail
5. Application of the boon, in which what the hero has gained can be used to improve the world

Let's do this!

xoxo
Julio
The Evangenitals (aka The Love Punks)

As if I didn't already love Leonardo Di Caprio enough (have you heard the awesome Ukefink song in his honor?) he goes off and creates this:



I'm so friggin' excited.

p.s.
If you really want to help save the world, go vegan. :-)

We need you to show your love to The Love Punks: www.myspace.com/lovepunkslove

In other words, add our Love Punks profile as your friend on Myspace!

We need to transfer some of our Myspace pals over to our alter-ego profile in preparation for some Road to Oprah press. :-)

If you haven't heard the story yet, the Evangenitals (traveling as The Love Punks) are going on a 45 day tour with the documentary crew of The 1 Second Film all over the US and Canada in a bio-diesel bus (with composting toilet and solar power!), ending up in Chicago, IL where we will ask Oprah to give us $1.

Big fun, baby.

Add the Love Punks, please!
www.myspace.com/lovepunkslove

xo
julio

So much is going on, I don't have much time to share about it.

I started working full-time with The 1 Second Film, plotting our upcoming Road To Oprah cross-country bio-diesel 10,000+ mile adventure.

The Evangenitals will probably be traveling as "The Love Punks" considering that we're going to be heading straight through the Bible Belt and visiting Oprah Winfrey. We don't want the name of the band to be any sort of distraction from the amazing cause and vision that The 1 Second Film represents.

In other news, I started taking classes at IO West and have become utterly obsessed with long-form improv. Tonight Ptryxxx and I are going to go see "The Lampshades" which stars my improv teacher Scot Robinson (who was also in Anchorman) and Meredith from The Office, aka Kate Flannery.

I have to go to the xBiz summer forum at the HardRock in Vegas next week for my "other" job, and then my sister is getting married in Florida on the 22nd. I saw her wedding website, and it is just plain surreal. This will be the first time in a LONG time that all the Crockett's are going to be in the same place at the same time. Hopefully the wedding cruise doesn't sink and take us all to Davey Jones' locker.

I have to admit thoughts like that when they occur to me, or else I am afraid that they will actually happen, and then I'll be dying thinking, "are you fucking kidding me? I totally called that!"

What else?

After a strange period of seeming song-writer's block, a bunch of new material is starting to flow out of me. I'm writing a new love song about Ptryxxx that has was may be the cutest subtly vegan choral hook that was ever written.

Newlywed Jeff Jones is going to return to the Evangenitals for a mellow yellow coffee house set at Highland Perk on July 28th! I've decided that we're going to make this gig an open-house, sing-a-long, play-a-long, Evan-hootenanny! After so much rocking so far this year (and much more rocking to come with another Molly Malones gig and the Evangenitals playing Universal Citywalk's Block Party on September 1st) we thought it would be nice to have a calm, sit down with coffee evening where we can share favorite songs, simple chords, and tell some stories about how these songs were written and why.

Lastly, I just bought some red and purple vegan/animal friendly Manic Panic hair dye and I'm thinking I may do something crazy with it this weekend. :-)

Sunday in the Park with Juli

Juli Crockett
Originally uploaded by juliocrockett

Taken in the gardens of the Lummis Home in Highland Park while waiting to be on the news promoting the Lummis Day Festival.

Photo by Patrick Ian Moore.

I think I'm gonna debut my Vegan Cowboy Boots tonight. :-)

CIMG4873.JPG
Originally uploaded by the1secondfilm.com

I grabbed this from the 1 Second Film's Flickr gallery of pictures from the Lummis Day Festival, where the Evangenitals rocked the park and the 1 Second Film worked on signing up new producers and fundraising for our Road Trip to Oprah this Fall. :-)

Ptryxxx and I look like big dorks, but I love this picture.

In the last 48 hours I have interviewed to direct a new play (and gotten the job), stayed up late working with Nirvan Mullick from The 1 Second Film on creating the Road To Oprah Myspace profile and other planning for the Love Punks/1 Second Film road trip this fall, woke up early this morning to appear on TWO morning news show (Fox Channel 11 and KTLA), did an interview with KPFK about the Evangenitals and our performance at the Lummis Day Festival, and I went on a date to the Pirate of the Carribean 3 at El Capitan, where we had VIP seats and an awesome audience that was totally in the swashbuckling spirit.

Oh yeah, and there was a giant, and I mean GIANT, photo of the Evangenitals in the Pasadena Weekly today. So, the Evangenitals were in newspapers, on the radio, and on TV... all within in 24 hours. I dig it. Awesome, I say!

So, I'm feeling rather, as the saying goes, "Thank you Sir, may I have another" about things right now. Except for the cold. I'd like to give this stinky cold back, and keep all the good energy that seems to be surrounding all things Evangenital right now.

In short, it's been a good, long, wonderful day and I'm digging it.

I'm looking FORWARD to THINGS! To STUFF that's on the HORIZON! I'm in love with many of the things that are happening NOW and I'm super-excited about things that are COMING SOON. Heck, I'm still reeling with glee from things that JUST HAPPENED!

The Evangenitals show at Molly Malones last Saturday was awesome. It was like a whole new level of Evangenital action -- simultaneously a reminder of how awesome things used to be, are, and will be. It was a bizarre time/space intersection wherein I was reminded of all things great about being an Evangenital. How awesome it is that people actually show up, listen, cheer, and give us so much love and support.

Today I talked to a booker in Florida who absolutely did not respond to the mojo of the Evangenitals. It was kinda crazy... a first for me, that got me all hot faced and heart pounding whilst making me excited for the FUTURE! For MORE disbelieving promoters and bookers that don't see/hear/feel/believe in the power of the Evangenitals. Hooray! There was a time in the beginning where it was important that NO ONE say anything critical about the Genitals. We were so fragile and new. If someone had told me that we sucked and should give it up 2 months into the project, I may have believed them. But here we are, years later, and after so many big 'ol smiles, crazy gigs, opened hearts, and loving responses to what we do... I'm a believer. There's something going on with the Evangenitals. It's a movement, and we're all a part of it.

After that call, the booker from Molly Malones called and invited us back for another show, we got invited up to Seattle to play in September, Wanni booked a gig for us in Jacksonville that we'll be able to hit after our Tampa show, and Nirvan from the 1 Second Film sent me a map that outlined the route that he's thinking we'll take on the Road Trip to Oprah! So, the good energy won in the end. When it rains, it pours. :-)

I must say that I feel pretty good about the fact that throughout the conversation with the "nonbeliever" I managed to let my love light shine, full blast, and not get flustered by any of the seeming insults and gruffness that were being thrown my way. I'm working on getting better at talking with people and representing/promoting the band in person. It's funny, considering that I've been doing this big 'ol Marketing job for the past few years, promoting the hell out of a business, and I do a grand job at that. The real magic is going to happen when I can take all of those skills I've developed -- feeling confident and boldly promoting someone else's project/company -- and apply them to OUR project. The Holy Evangenitals.

Wish Me Luck!  (In Person!) :-)

Tonight (Saturday May 19th) at 11pm the Evangenitals will play at
Molly Malones for the first time.

It will also be the first time that I, Juli Crockett, have performed
an Evangenitals/Evangina show without my harmonic co-Genital Lisa
Dee.

Why, you ask?  Well, Lisa Dee is up in San Francisco RIGHT NOW
registering to run in the Bay to Breakers marathon tomorrow morning!

We, the Evangenitals, however are not just a physical band, but a
spiritual one as well... so though an Evangenital may not be with us
in the flesh, they are always with us in spirit.

So, if possible, come on out tonight and help us channel the spirit
of Lisa Dee (and George Bernardo, too, as he's off playing another gig
tonight as well!) at Molly Malones.

Juli could use all the love that can fit in the joint.  And so could
Brett, as he'll be singing some songs and chiming in on the Harmony
Express.

This unique lineup consisting of Jason Chesney on Bass, Bryan Landers
on Banjo, Dave "Salad" Salardino on Drums, Brett Lyda on Lead Guitar
and Vocals, and Juli Crockett with Red Hair, Rhythm Guitar, and
Schizophrenic Vocals is not to be missed.

Molly Malones
575 S Fairfax Ave
Los Angeles CA 90036
11pm sharp
$6

The Ptryxxx Flier:
http://www.evangenitals.com/images/mollymalonesflier.jpg

xoxo
The Evangenitals
http://www.evangenitals.com
http://www.myspace.com/evangenitals

Busy week, and I'm having fun.

There's a lot going on in Juli/Evangenitals land these days. The "day job" is just crazy as hell, so I won't go into that particular mouth of madness at the moment. The rest of it is full to bursting and only getting puffier every day.

This past weekend I went up to Vegas to meet up with my brother, Jaisen Crockett, the bomb-ass photographer, who was flown out there from New York to shoot a band -- KOR! Kinetic Origins of Rhythm (website, myspace page, and really awesome band photo taken by my brother forthcoming). I also got to see "Spamalot" which was lots of fun, play some video poker, go to the Ghost Town Calico, and take a bunch of silly photos with Ptryxxx, who was paying his first visit ever to sin city and did not leave disappointed.

We even went to an oxygen bar, which I has wanted to do FOREVER, and it was awesome. I wish I could get an oxygen tank for my house... as pure oxygen is the best cure for a headache and left me with zero desire to drink coffee and feeling like I was walking on the moon. Good stuff!

I raced home from Vegas on Sunday to make it back to LA in time for band practice. With Lisa Dee and Georgie out of town for this next gig, we're playing Molly Malones with an alternate lineup which always makes me a little nervous and a LOT excited for the new interpretations of old songs that always results when we shake things up. Brett's going to be singing more in this set, which is fantastic, Salad and Bryan Landers are coming on board once more, and the project of begging every person I know on my hands and knees to help us make the minimum draw and make this night a success seems to be going well. Good to know that honest desperation sometime does work. We'll see how it all pans out at the door.

TODAY I had to leave work early to meet up with the Genitals and go to Time Warner studios to do a little cable show promoting the upcoming Lummis Day Festival in Highland Park that we'll be playing at on June 3rd.

Much like our Q TV live television experience in the past, this one was equally disorganized, impromptu, and TOTALLY fun. We did end up getting to play two full songs on the show as well as talk about the origin of the band and the meaning of "Evangenitals". We also got some good video footage for our own documentary purposes and some cool pictures for the website thanks to Patrick Ian Moore, our resident flier artist, videographer, photographer, and budding webmaster.

Check out the pics here: www.evagenitals.com/photos.html

In other news, on Thursday Brett and I are meeting with Nirvan, director of the 1 Second Film, to discuss the Evangenitals being the theme band for their Road Trip to Oprah expedition. There is talk of a biodiesel schoolbus, a reality show, an animated mushroom voiced by Andy Dick... it's all a little crazy, and therefore I like it very much!

If any of you are not yet involved with the 1 Second Film, I highly recommend you get involved. It's awesome. It's art. It's good for the soul.

And you can look forward to my new song "Andy the Mushroom" which is causing me a whole lot of giggles and joy lately as I create new verses whilst driving in the car.... which Andy the Mushroom could never do, because he had no HANDS, man!

I love you all. Please come out to the Molly Malones show on Saturday May 19th and help us get famous. I wanna hump on your eardrums for a living, people. Only you can make that happen!

xo
julio

Awesome day today. The weather was perfect Sunday weather.

I did wake up with an excruciating headache, but it was nothing that a little Dr Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar Tonic and hot herbal tea couldn't fix. I'm detoxing at the moment, and this was the second morning with no coffee. As I am a very big (meaning daily) fan of the triple latte with soy milk, I was anticipating the horrible caffine withdrawl headaches. Actually, I thought they'd come on day 1... but day 2's morning mind-bashing made up for it.

Once that had calmed down, it was time for the good day to commence.

I had gotten an email invite from Environment California (one of the many environment/animal rights/superfriends peace on earth for All groups I belong to) to go to a panel discussion called "Sustainable LA" that was part of the Silverlake Film Festival.

There were all kinds of inspirational local heroes on the panel, including a few celebrities like Ed Begley Jr, Bill Nye the Science Guy, andAlicia Silverstone (who I also saw at the Year of the Dog screening that PETA organized at the Paramount lot a few weeks ago).

I'm gonna need to take some time when it's not so late to write all about that was said there. The short version is that I need to start riding my bike to work, remembering to bring my own bags to the grocery store, and get a water filter. Alicia Silverstone was the only one on the panel that really talked about the relationship between Veganism and the Environment (as PETA likes to remind folks, you can't call yourself an Environmentalist and eat meat) which was surprising. It was great that she was there representing. Ed Begley Jr and Bill Nye the Science Guy carpooled there in Bill's electric car... which is awesome. Thinking of those two guys being friends made me happy.

Every day I'm getting a little bit crazier and more extreme about the environment, the animals, and the people of the earth living all happy, joyous, flourishing and free and I'm digging it.

After that, Patrick and I went and met up with Brett and Wanni at the Grand Ole Echo to check out Tony Gilkyson (former guitarist of X) who we will be opening for on August 26th. It's a real cute event that Kim and Pam (aka The Happy Bookers) put on there. First of all, it's free, which is super fresh. In addition to that, there a nice patio out back where they barbeque burgers (including Veggie Burgers!) and the "outside band" was a trippy duo from Texas called "Restaurant" who played jacked up home-made instruments, including a high-hat made of old licence plates for cymbols. Good stuff..

A great treat was the opening act, Jaimi Shuey. If you like good 'ol Country music, you gotta check her out. She's awesome. :-)

After that, it was back to Brettsky's for band practice. I listened while Brett and George tweaked around with the outro of "Sun Is Shining" which is being tweaked to ear-humping perfection for the new album. Then we had a mellow practice and played some sweet and slow tunes while Georgie thumped on Lisa's empty guitar case and played a maraca. And play it well he did!

I'm excited about Brett singing more, our upcoming appearances on TV and Radio, our trip to Florida in June, the Lummis Day show (pre-Florida) on June 3rd, the crazy Juice Fast Detox that I'm on, the fact that Patrick quit his job and will be able to draw more EvangeniTales comics and edit more band videos, and the glory and possibility of life in general. It's all good.

Next weekend my brother, the bomb-ass photographer Jaisen Crockett, is going to be in Vegas shooting some band... so I'm going up there to get some new tattoos and some new pictures taken. You can look forward to seeing 'em on Myspace. ;-)

There's more, but I figure I'll leave something for us to talk about if you see me on the street. It's late, I'm tired and running on nothing but fruit juice, herbal tea, apple cider vinegar, and a ton of old toxins that are getting excavated out of their hiding places. Begone, demons! Out of my cells!

Unmanageable.

Brett and I were talking yesterday about "Band Business" and general goings-ons while he was driving around running errands for his job and I was working away at mine (at work, on the phone, talking about band bizzness. hehe) We decided that it may be time that the Evangenitals start seeking management.

So, I'll work on that. :-)

Managers beware!

My Own Private Coachella (in Old Town Pasadena)

The Evangenitals are playing a show this weekend!!!

Here's the Flier by PtryXXX!!!

I know what you're thinking... we must be CRAZY to play a show the same weekend as Coachella.

Well, if you're anything like me, the idea of a bunch of sweaty people out in the desert listening to a zillion bands (awesome though some may be) in a row is kind of horrific... unless you're one of the bands and/or have some sort of backstage pass, unlimited cold waters, and some "personal space" in your contract.

If, however, the shin dig going down at Coachella this weekend is your earthly version of Paradise, then I hope you have tickets and have a ball. Heck, if you didn't have tickets and I had some, I'd send 'em your way! Seriously, I would.

Now, if you're looking for a much more reasonably-priced music fest INDOORS (with an outdoor patio option) then I would highly suggest coming to the Old Towne Pub in Old Towne Pasadena for the Evangenitals show this Saturday night, April 28th.

We have assembled the Unofficial Highland Park All Stars to take your mind off of all that Coachella madness, and to give it to you big and lovely, right in the eardrums.

The Balloon Bass-driven duo UNPOPABLE will kick off the evenings offerings at 9pm, followed by Cat Hair Ensemble (9:30), the Evangenitals (10:30), and the breakups (11:30).

(Don't let the lower-case letters fool you... the breakups will eat your hearts out with a musical spoon, and then sew it up with sonic rose petals and put it back in your chest with a skip in its beat box)

It's a damn fine evening, and it's just $5.

There are rumors of Evangenitals playing other Evangenitals’ instruments, Brett on the mic, Julio on the Bass, Lisa on a Tambourine, Georgie out of his Mind, NEW SONGS, and some dude from the LA Weekly being there who used to be in the Jim Carrol Band. NO KIDDING!!!

Remember, at the Old Towne Pub, the band you come to see gets to keep ALL the door money your bring, so be sure to give credit to the door man, and you can feel good about the fact that EVERY Evangenitals show at the Old Towne Pub is a bona fide fundraiser.

Just think, if you come to enough Old Towne Pub shows, we'll probably give you a credit on the new album!

So please come, and rock those Coachella/desert envy blues away. We've got you covered.

To Review:

Saturday April 28th
9pm - 12am (Evangenitals at 10:30ish)
Old Towne Pub
66 N Fair Oaks Ave
Pasadena, CA 91103

**

For those who can't be with us, we would like to offer the following treats and suggestions for some simple things you can do to support your Genitals:

Check out the Evangenitals Radio Interview!

Bring the Evangenitals to your town!

Be our Myspace Friend!

Review our Album on CD Baby!


We Love You, Always and Already.
Juli, Lisa, Brettsky, Georgie, Chesney, and all those who came before and keep coming back.
The Evangenitals

If you are a friend of the Evangenitals on Myspace and you don't actually know me or the Evangenitals in what we skin-bound humans call "real life", you may be wondering why in the hell I periodically send you invites to Evangenitals' shows & events... especially since you never respond, live in a foreign or faraway land, and perhaps have no idea how we became friends in the first place.

(Please note: I always try to use the "search by location" feature of the invites first and foremost, which unfortunately never works... possibly because I have a Mac, possibly because the "search by location" feature on Myspace blows ass chunks, and possibly because no one I know enters their friggin' zip code or correct city.)

Once that option is exhausted, I have a very simple set of guidelines that I follow when deciding (without knowledge of where in the world anyone is) whom to send invites to. So, if you have received an invite from the Evangenitals, it is likely that you fall into one of these categories:

1. You look lonely. You look like you could use a friend, or perhaps just some sunlight. At a minimum, it appears to me that some time away from the computer would do you good.

2. You look awesome. There is something inherently RAD about your profile picture. You look like a giver; like someone who would contribute to a good time. Or, you may just have incredibly large jugs, which is a good feature to have at shows as well. Come on down.

3. You look like Patrick Swayze. If you are using Patrick Swayze as your profile picture, you are invited. Hell, if you're out there sporting anyone from the Outsiders, at any phase of their careers, YOU ARE GETTING INVITED!

4. You are a drunken mess. We are a band, people, and bands often play in bars. Bar bands need insane, sloppy, excessive drinkers to come to their shows and get good and stinking drunk and spend their rent money on booze to keep bar owners happy and booking good 'ol fashioned bar bands. So, if you have a profile picture that features you drunk out of your mind, passed out with and bunch of bottles, doing a beer bong, smoking a bong, vomiting, or holding a giant pint and/or a YARD of ale, you can bet your poisoned liver that YOU ARE INVITED!

5. Your name is Dave or David. I can't quite explain this one, but as a general rule I invite every goddamn "Dave" and "David" to every goddamn thing we do. It works for me.

6. YOU send ME a crapload of invites. You probably send me millions of bulletins as well, and you're always trying to post GIANT comments with your ENTIRE FUCKING TOUR plotted out on MY page, so I figure, a little e-vite from me shouldn't ruffle your feathers too much.

In the end, let it be known that I painstakingly pick and choose every single profile that I select and add, ONE BY ONE, to our evite list and send out our little plea for SOME sort of RESPONSE to the fact that WE EXIST.

If you don't know, now you know.

xo
julio

I have a great love for Las Vegas. But sometimes it smells like farts and cigars.

:-)

Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock

For Ptryxxx:

I fuckin' love Macs, but I hate these goddamn commercials.

Buncha FUD-suckers.

In other news, the Office was awesome last night, I have a cold, the Evangenitals may play Florida in June (7-11th), Brettsky and Georgie are bustin' ass trying to clean up/finish up the new album, we just got hooked up with a SnoCap music store on Myspace thanks to CD Baby, and we had to pass up an opportunity to play with Trainwreck because I'm going to be working at the International Lingerie Show in Las Vegas. Blasts!

Can't win 'em all, though we've been pretty lucky so far.

:-)

6 Degrees of Jack Black-a-Nation

So I finally Netflixed The Pick of Destiny a few weeks ago. Yes, I know, it's shameful that I hadn't seen it sooner, as I've been a huge Tenacious D fan ever since KevSlider turned me on to them during a crazed road trip back in '04.

Yes, I know, I was a Johnny-Come-Lately on the D-Train. Better late than never, eh?

Recent events have made me acutely aware that it is only a matter of time before I find my hand firmly placed in the palm of Jack Black looking him square in the eyes and saying, "It's mighty good to finally meet you, Sir." And I think that time is going to be soon.

The varied ways in which the cosmic paths of one J.B. (aka Jack Black) and one J.C. (aka Juli Crockett) have almost crossed are numerous:

For one thing, I have directed 3 plays at the 24th Street Theater, where Jack Black is on the Advisory Board.

What set me off tonight is that not only has my band, The Evangenitals, opened for KG's *other* band Trainwreck, but in addition to this I have just heard that in June The Evangenitals will be playing with Josh Haden at Mr T's Bowl.

For those of you not totally up on your Tenacious D trivia, Josh Haden (son of Charlie Haden) is the brother of Tanya Haden (of the Haden Triplets) who is the wife of Jack Black. HOW'S THAT FOR CONNECTIVITY???

Now, to top it all off, Evangenitals guitarist Brett Lyda's girlfriend Wanni is good friends with Kyle Gass and regularly plays poker with KG and JB. Backstage at a Tenacious D show, Brett and Wanni were kind enough to have this jolly fansign snapped for me:


And, as if we needed one more stitch in this blanket, Brettsky went to college with Tanya Haden, wife of Jack Black, mother of his progeny. No kidding.

So... will Tanya and Jack come to hear her brother play at the T's Bowl in June? Who knows! They MUST be close -- she is in Josh's TOP 4 on Myspace! The Evangenitals are expected to open for Trainwreck again in April. Will JB make a surprise appearance as he is sometimes known to do in the guise of Tuffy McFukelby.


All in all, it all sounds an awful lot like the trumpets of Destiny are heralding the day that JB and JC shall pump their fists in a mighty handshake the likes of which this world hath never witnessed. Until that day, I abide.

Check our the newest flier from The Rev. PtryXXX for the Bordello show this Wednesday night:


I must say, it is a very lucky band that gets to have their own resident flier designer, comic artist, and videographer to herald the exploits and adventures that they encounter on the wild road to super rock land... and that is exactly what the Evangenitals have in the form of one Patrick Ian Moore, hailing from Tulsa, Okahoma.

Also known as The Reverand PtryXXX of the SouperKlawBrazzz and Improv Monstas, Patrick and I go way back to the year 2000, when his best friend David Taylor was the Technical Director for my thesis project at CalArts [or, the whale] and his brother Andrew and I used to run around late at night taking too many diet pills and drinking gallons of Gatorade while broaming Compton listening to Power 106.

Now Dave is the Technical Director of Lincoln Center, Andrew is.. umm... "retired" in Missouri, and Ptryxxx lives in Los Angeles, California, USA and works in the same sex toy company as I do. How times do change!

Some things, however, don't change... such as, Ptryxxx and I were health-minded, hippie ass, vegan, yoga stretching, animal-loving mofos back then, and we've both gotten back to all that now. So there. Some things remain the same.

What's it all mean? Hell if I know. Just come on out to the show!

xo
julio

Holy Moly! Tony Gower is BACK!

Just look at this friggin' swank-ass club we are playing at on Wednesday March 14th!!

This is The Bordello, and it is owned by Tony Gower, former owner of the Derby in Los Feliz. In other words, this is the *new* supreme swank locale in Los Angeles, and were going to christen the stage with Evangenital sweat on Wednesday March 14th at 10pm!


(click for more pics)

The Bordello is lush, sexy, beautiful... a must-see joint. It's also about to become our new home base in LA... so let's have ourselves a housewarming/welcome home Tony party!

The Evangenitals will be playing with the Sundowners and Vermouth, who both sound like swank ass bands, so check 'em out and come on down.

That's a lot of funk for $5.

Click here to RSVP for the show on Myspace!

Come and look pretty for the video cameras. This one is sure to be YouTube GOLD!

*BREAKING NEWS* Evangenital lead singer Miss Julio Crockett was spotted exiting Aardvarks in Hollywood last weekend with a floor length red gown. Witnesses at the scene reported that allegedly she was overheard saying to her "tall male companion" that the dress was for "some show" she is playing in March at "some swank ass joint". More reports coming soon.

Don't worry. Brettsky didn't quit the band. He just has to pay his dues in Hollywood.

We will make him proud, and he will be back for the next waltz. :-)

Alright... so I'm a geek. But dammit, I get friggin' giddy as hell when a famous author whose work I respect the hell out of drops my name, and the Evangenitals name, as a band that he loves to get crazy to.

Check it out:

"For pure craziness, there are lots of other bands, including one that I can't write to but I've become a big fan; they're called the Evangenitals. They're from Los Angeles. One of the front singers is a former boxer-slash-philosopher. She's a fantastic singer. Her name is Juli Crockett."

Thank you, Colum McCann!

So, the back story to our association is that Colum was actually one of my professors my first year at The European Graduate School in Switzerland where I go every summer to work on my PhD in Philosophy. We had many deep conversations and stayed up late singing Evangenitals' songs and Irish classics with the hoodlums at the best damn theory camp in the Alps.

I even wrote a song about him, that a bunch of us geeks got together and hootenannied often. I'm trying to find a video of it that someone once sent me so I can post it. I know there's an audio recordin (bad quality) and I may throw it up online somewhere for the hell of it.

In the meantime, we may just have to revive the song and play it at the next Evangenitals show. It's a damn fine sing along, in the Irish tradition. February 11th - All Star Lanes - Bowling, Drinking, Evangenitals, Sing Alongs, Karoke. Be there.

You can read the full interview with Colum McCann here: http://www.powells.com/interviews/mccann.html

And buy his books while you're at it. They're friggin' amazing.

Man oh man... after this crazy week of recording new albums and trips to Vegas and back for the Buccaneer show, I figured that I'd let Kevin (the Duke of Alhambra) tell you about the show, since he put it so awesomely in his MySpace group, To All The Music Fans:

"Okay! I finally went out to a show that is worth talking about.

The band is called the Evangenitals.. The play folk rock.. The two female singers are amazing... Great vocal skills that blend into each other. The band itself was just in tune with each other. Their songs were fun and enjoyable, even if you find "FUCKING A SAILOR" offensive... The show never stopped to make you think "Do I want to leave now".. You start thinking " WOW WHAT IS GOING TO COME NEXT"!

Gasoline... Was great!
Drunken sailor... Was even better...
I can go on with each song, but they played new songs on their upcoming CD that I don't know the names of.

This is what I will love for you all to do, go to my friends list and add them. For one week go and add a song from their profile and enjoy. Just see how they make you feel.

Story:
To end I will like to tell a short story of how great they are from last night...

There was this one drunk woman at the bar, with high heels that kept lighting up as she walked. During the show she was at the bar talking very loud to the bartender.. telling him how much she loved him. She would get up and walk through the crowd to go to the restroom, but bumped into everyone on the way... did I put she was drunk?

During one of the fast pace hard moving songs of the night (*it was our cover of the Velvet Underground's Heroin... in the midst of our infamous "Medley") this drunk woman got off her chair and was walking towards the restroom, which you have to pass by the band's stage. She walked up to one of the two singers and started to grab the mic from her.. The singer, sorry that I forgot your name, was FUCKEN AMAZING! (*that would have been me, and I am still reeling from my first totally 80's heavy metal fan on-stage make-out moment) With out missing a step she held on to the mic, kept singer the song (in its fast pace) and had the drunk woman in Aww... She didn't let the moment fall apart. She, the singer, was there to put on a show and not stop... in which she did. After the song the drunk woman started to hug the singer and kiss her.. (*tongue kiss, people!) After the song the band just smiled and stared a new song. (*the transition back into Bad Company's Feel Like Makin' Love) The drunk woman went to the restroom and back to her chair at the bar. (*her name was Willow, and it was her birthday. I'm pretty sure she will be appearing in an EvangeniTales comic very, very soon.)

If you see any bands this year this is the one that will not want to miss! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO and see EVANGENITALS."

Thank you, Kevin, for that glowing show review. That was an awesome tidbit to wake up to! For more show reviews and music discussion, here's the link again to Kevin's Myspace group: To All The Music Fans.

Sex, More Sex, and Rock n Roll. That's what the next week is all about for me....

This past week, however, was all about the Evangenitals. God bless 'em.

On Friday night, we stepped into Del Boca Vista studio with Blair Lamb and started laying down tracks for the long-awaited album #2 (as yet untitled, but it's going to have a great cover photo, guaranteed). Brett Lyda, George Bernardo, Lisa Dee, Geoff Brandin, Bryan Landers, and me, Juli Crockett, were in it for the long haul: Friday night, all day Saturday and most of Sunday. When all was said and done, we came out of the session with 20 TRACKS snuck inside of Brettsky's external drive, which he whisked back to his crib and immediately started tweaking toward perfection.

He couldn't tweak long, however, because the Genitals had to head out to Beverly Hills on Monday night, with our videographer Patrick Ian Moore and manager/caretaker Wanni Yu in tow, for a radio appearance on "The Hollywood Pitch with John Griffiths". There we discussed, for an hour on talk radio, the "special sheen" that is the Evangenitals.

They played a couple tunes on air, The Work Song, and a special sneak preview world premier track off the upcoming record (the Evangina number Time To Go). Ptryxxx caught the whole thing on video, and I'm going to try to get it up on YouTube tonight, before I fly off to Vegas in the morning.

That's right... Vegas, baby! Tomorrow I'm off to the AVN show in Las Vegas, to do my "day job" gig in Pornoland. Do not fret! I'm flying back for the gig on Saturday night, of course. We're gonna tear it up with Ukefink, and I wouldn't miss that for the world. However, on Monday morning I'm flying BACK to Vegas for ANOTHER Pornoland conference at Mandalay Bay! Woo de wooooo!

With all this recording, radio interviewing, adult industry schmoozing, flying back and forth from Vegas, and playing a gig at the super cool Pirate dive bar The Buccaneer, I'm kinda swimming in the pseudo up-and-coming rock-star super-energy glow right now. It's a beautiful thing.

Thanks to all who called in to the radio show. It made us look really friggin' cool, to have the "most call-ins in the history of the show", and it all made us feel really loved. You guys are awesome.

xo
julio

At Eliot & Jain Sekular's annual Christmas party on Christmas Eve, Lisa Deedle and I were asked to play some music, as we are asked to do at every Sekular-house party. It pretty much just isn't Christmas if we don't play their legendary Christmas party, which features the most amazing tamales ever cooked by human hands.

Lisa and I were taking requests from the party-going crowd, and we ended up playing a nice little acoustic set of Evangenitals and Evangina tunes... mostly sing-along/play-along's like Home, Diggin' It, Not Quiet There, Sun is Shining. The final request for the evening, however, was Hey Ya.

Back in 2004, during Grammy night, we were half having band practice in preparation for the open mic at Mr T's Bowl while half watch the Grammys. Outkast was on, performing their hit song, when Brettsky began to chunk it out on guitar. We all began playing and singing, and it was revealed that I, Juli Crockett, happened to know ALL of the lyrics to that catchy-ass tune.

A series of "double dog dares" were issued, as to whether or not we had the balls to play the tune at the open mic that night. As you might imagine, when it comes to the Evangenitals, we are never short on balls. ;-)

Then something miraculous happened. I started playing the song at about 1/18th the normal speed, and soulfully singing Andre's surprisingly heartbreaking and passionate lyrics. An instant classic was born.

We performed BOTH versions, fast and slow, at a show at El Cid in the summer of 2004. That show was recorded by our dear friend Joey Ninja (from Ninja Academy) and the slow version is currently our most downloaded tune on iTunes. That is the genesis of the Evangenitals version of Hey Ya, loving called... "Hey Ya'll"

Why am I telling you all this? Well, because I just discovered another gent who is singing the tune in the slow and low tempo, and at this moment in time, he's a lot more popular than we are. Perhaps I'm feeling the need to assert my turf? A little tinge of cover-song envy? I don't know. Maybe this is the proverbial Tipping Point for the Evangenitals. The moment when a million people start searching for "that awesome cover version of Hey Ya" and instead of finding Matt Weddle of Obadiah Parker, they find the Evangenitals.

Miracles do happen. And I have a feeling that 2007 is going to be the year of the Genitals. Can you feel it?

So, long story short, after seeing all the hub-bub going on surrounding the Matt Weddle version, I laid down on track with some moving action titles telling a little bit of the Evangenitals tale, and I loaded it on You Tube as a video response.

Please go see it, rate it, favorite it, show it love, send it to your friends, etc:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RAL_NsDYd0

With any luck, our version will get as much love as Weddle's. :-)

Regardless, I love you. All of you.

xo
julio

Last night I had visions, just before falling asleep, of a heroic/propagandic solider, perhaps german or russian. he wore a big furry white coat, decorated with medallions, a big black hat, and was being filmed/viewed from a low angle, to make him appear all the more grand and heroic, and i found myself thinking that this must have been filmed/was being filmed by leni riefenstahl.

the strange detail of the scene was that the epic soldier had an orange for a head, with two little gold pins for eyes.

it was like some insane collaboration betwixt riefenstahl and tim burton.

i'm going to try to paint it, because it was awesome. on second thought, i think i'm going to have P-TryXXX paint it, because i suck at painting anything accurately. :-)

On the Boots of My Best Friend

(from the comments of one of our YouTube videos)

"Lisa's boots are the bee's knees. Her fashion sense is legendary... cutting edge... always ahead of her time. Designers in France are biting their fingernails waiting and wondering what her next haircut challenge will be. It's an international phenom. Believe it."

:-)

Regarding the Benefit for Shelly Rohe, who goes in for brain surgery on Thursday, but was shaking her tailfeathers tonight :

Ok, now I will admit that I'm a little bummed that I didn't win the autographed headshot of the Mom from ET... nor did I win the Neutrogena gift basket in the raffle. In fact, I didn't win anything, but I have long since come to peace with the fact that I just don't really have that kind of luck. Not since I won a couple of shockingly awesome treasures as a child. But that is not the point...

The point IS that the benefit for Shelly was a beautiful thing to be a part of, and I'm so glad I made it out to Santa Monica support her and here Jeremy Zuckerman's band Cousin Junebug play.

Cousin Junebug was funkalicious, and it's official, they will certainly be playing with the Genitals sometime in '07. I was surprised to find that Mike Ibarra's trio, El Haru Kuroi, was a last minute addition to the evenings entertainment, and that was friggin' awesome. It had been a long while since I'd seen them perform, and they had some smooth new tunes to offer the West Side, straight outta the East LA compound.

Ibarra, Zuckerman, and I briefly discussed possibilities for our next big theatrical opus, now that we are all generally sufficiently recovered from Orpheus and Eurydice at REDCAT. More details coming soon.

All in all, the whole thing left me feeling pretty darn good. We had a group, non-denominational meditation session for Shelly, sending her our collective good energy as she goes into surgery, and for a second all was right with the world.

I wrote a Haiku for Shelly on her big 'ol card that she's taking to the hospital with her. It read:

Oh lovely Shelly
When your lovely brain is healed
Call me and let's play!

I am now gonna make some tea, take a bath, say a prayer for Shelly and all living things while I'm at it, and go to bed. Gotta rest up for band practice and the big rock show on Friday night.

This Friday December 15th We, the Evangenitals will be playing our last
show of 2006 at the Old Towne Pub in Pasadena.

I would very much like you to be there, if you can. There are many
reasons for this. I will list them, and you can pick whichever you
like, put it in your pocket, and come see the show.

1. This is the last Evangenitals show of '06.
(see explanation above)

2. The last show was so friggin' dope, and this one is gonna be even
better.
Need proof? Watch this video from the last show. If you were AT the
last show (Kent, Leslie, Sharon, Alan, Joseph, Eliot etc) you may find
yourself IN the video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xdZjSq-ydA

3. This is a fundraiser for our next album.
In January we will be hitting the studio to lay down tracks for all
your new, favorite songs that weren't on the first album. Like Fuck
'em All. So if you have wanted a recording of Fuck 'em All, come to
the show, and we will be able to make you one in January. We need
$600 to pull this off, and all proceed from the show go toward the
new album.

4. Because we love you.
We really do. Always have, always will. Seriously.

5. The "Super-Deluxe Medley of Cover Songs".
I'm not kidding. This medley will blow your mind, and you can only
hear it live, this time, while we've got the Holiday Balls to go
through with it.

6. We (10:15pm) are playing with the Natural Disasters (9:30pm) and
the Purple Gang (11:15pm) which means we have the musical spectrum
covered, from punk rock to blues to hillbilly soul to psychedelic
rock to 50's doo wop. We got it. Come n' get it.

7. There will be press coverage, celebrity photographs, and we need
your sexy faces to come make us look good. Video interviews.
Paparazzi, baby. This is Hollywoodland. Put your face on and be
seen.

If none of these reasons prove sufficient to encourage your presence
at this epic show, (or if you happen to be in another state, which is
a decent excuse) please at a minimum send us your good, supportive
thoughts and prayers.

And please be sure to check out ALL the new Evangenitals videos on
YouTube, and don't forget to leave us some comments!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xdZjSq-ydA

The Evangenitals & Friends
Holiday Hoe-Down
Old Towne Pub Pasadena
66 N Fair Oaks Ave
Pasadena, CA 91103
Price: $5
9:30pm Natural Disasters
10:15pm Evangenitals
11:15pm The Purple Gang

All my lovin'
Juli Crockett
The Evangenitals
http://www.evangenitals.com

Hello Friends.

This is a video capturing an epic occurence that I'd like to share with you. It shows me, Juli Crockett, and my band, The Evangenitals performing at the Old Towne Pub in Pasadena. Caught on this tape is the moment where I, Juli Crockett, first performed an Evangenitals song STANDING UP on stage, rather than safely seated in a chair.

It was disorienting, frightening, and totally awesome. I would very much like to do more of it, as you may note that I could use a little practice.

p.s
I'm not drunk in this video... I'm just gaining my sea legs. ;-)

Please have a look, and leave us a comment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xdZjSq-ydA

Whenever I'm feeling blue and need a little pick me up...

Whenever I feel like I haven't got the energy to keep on keeping on...

Whenever I begin to question my "artistic path" or my "acheivements" or the "value" of my so-called "life"...


I just go here and suddenly...


I AM MIGHTY!

Cheesy as it is... it never fails to make me feel kinda inspired. Maybe it's the sound track.

If you need me to make one for you, I'd be happy to. :-)

I, Juli Crockett of the Evangenitals, made this little 30 second video for a Transdermal Celebration video proposal for Ween. Though it didn't get picked (they made a crazy animated one instead) I do still get to enjoy this little golden nugget of a good time that was caught on tape.

Pee in my pants.

That's what this picture makes me want to do.

Kyle Gass of Tenacious D & Trainwreck fame, posing with my band sticker. Aww yeah, man. We Arr The Evangenitals!

Hi. This is Juli from the Evangenitals. How have you been? Please
let me know, because I'm never sure if you are reading this blog or not.

I hope you've been well. More than well. I hope you're seeing
rainbows with your eyes open and closed. If you're not, maybe I can
help you with that.

Now, I'm not one to usually go for the hard sell, as I'm a much
bigger fan of soft candy. HOWEVER, when the situation so requires, I
am willing to pull out the bells and whistles and do a little tap
dance for "the cause" so... here we go!

This Friday Night, November 17th at Old Towne Pub (formerly the Loch
Ness) the Evangenitals are pullin' out the stops (that means
No-Holds-Barred Evangenital Action) at 10pm. And you can be a part
of it for just $5.

The stylish show flier by our Resident Flier Designer Patrick Ian
Moore can be viewed here:
http://www.evangenitals.com/images/hugeevangenitalsptryxxxpubfl.jpg

That's right, we're Getting Naked (spiritually speaking), lettin'
down our hair, trying some new things, re-visioning some old, and
celebrating drummer GEORGE BERNARDO's Birthday. And friggin' Ninja
Academy is playing with us. That's awesome!

The Evangenitals, for this show, will consist of Juli Crockett, Brett
Lyda, Lisa Dee, and George Bernardo, as usual, with Geof Brandin on
the bass and Bryan Landers giving it to you good on the Pedal Steel
and Electric Banjo. I'd say it's worth seeing all that squeezed onto
the small stage of the Old Towne Pub.

Did I mention that it's only $5 (that's FIVE DOLLARS. 500 pennies.
Only 20 quarters. you see what I'm saying?)

The Full Line Up:
9pm Marty West and the Lower Companions
10pm The Evangenitals(tm)
11pm Ninja Academy
12pm SPECIAL SECRET SHOW. We ain't tellin'. You just gotta be there
to see it.

In other news, have you ever found yourself asking who are the
Evangenitals REALLY are? Off the stage... out of the bright lights
of dingy bars? Well NOW YOU CAN SEE FOR YOURSELF!

This just in! Exclusive "Rehearsal Footage" of the Evangenitals, at
ease:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoMcAXmLaDg

Watching this video may actually give you some hints as to what tunes
may be appearing in our Old Towne Pub set, so check it out!

Much Love,
Juli & the Genitals
http://www.evangenitals.com

Evangina hit the polls at the Pillar of Fire in Highland Park and snapped this ACTION BROOM pic for the collection over at MichaelMoore.com!



How did your voting day go, people? How's the tide gonna turn now?

Mark my words... when I get back from Berlin I am going to post some of the most ridiculous cam phone pictures ever taken by two hands, one thumb, and an eye ball.

Word to your mutter.

For the love of all things good in the world, please register to walk with us, TEAM EVANGENITALS, in the AIDS Walk Los Angeles on October 15th!

We need at least 20 walkers on our team to qualify for our very own Team Meeting Station, and gad'dangit... we want TEAM EVANGENITALS to be a spectacular demonstration of Evangelistic Genital Joy on this day!

It costs nothing but a few hours of your time to walk with us, so please SIGN UP HERE!

If you can't make it and you'd like to make a donation to the cause, you can do so on the so RIGHT HERE.

Thanks,
Juli C & Lisa Dee
Evangenitals

***

TEAM MEETING STATION DEADLINE

Wednesday, October 4

In order to qualify for a Team Meeting Station at the AIDS Walk you need to have at least 20 walkers registered on your team by this coming Wednesday, October 4 at NOON. A Team Meeting Station is a table with your team name on a sign. Walkers will still be able to register and raise money for your team after this date, but they will not count towards qualifying for the Team Meeting Station. As an extra incentive to recruit walkers by next Wednesday, Chipotle has generously donated the prize for our next registration competition!

WIN 100 FREE CHIPOTLE BURRITOS!

The two teams that register the most walkers between today, Friday, September 29 at 5:00 p.m., and Wednesday, October 4, at NOON, will each win 100 Chipotle Burrito Bucks (good for one free burrito) for their team! Last year during this week, over 4,300 walkers registered on teams, and one team alone registered 159 walkers, so the competition promises to be fierce!

Use the Burrito Bucks to have a team celebration fiesta after the walk or give them out as “Thank You” to your donors.

Do you have $1 to save the world?

Hi there.

I am seeking supporters for myself and TEAM EVANGENITALS in the upcoming AIDS Walk Los Angeles. We are seeking sponsors, team members to walk with us, and donations to support the cause.

If you have one single shiny dollar to give, that will do. Every little bit truly does help.

Please give what you can here: http://aidswalklosangeles2006.kintera.org/juliocrockett

You can give to the team, myself, or any of the team walkers. Whatever fills your heart with the most glee. Just do it.

If you are in town and would like to be a part of TEAM EVANGENITALS, we would love to have you. We hope to assemble a grand team of Evangenitalized enthusiasts in the streets of West Hollywood on October 15th for the AIDS Walk. A spectacle. A phenomenon. A concert on two legs, walking down the street.

There are free t-shirts, hats, kazoos and prizes from our sponsors involved. (Some big hitters in the adult industry are rallying behind us for this one, and they've got some cool t-shirts!)

Anything you can do to help is much appreciated. Let's rock this thing.
http://aidswalklosangeles2006.kintera.org/juliocrockett

Also, if you are are part of a business that would like to sponsor our team, we have plenty of bodies to sport t-shirts, hats, and a display table at the event as well. We are also offering links on our websites, and mention in a grand volley of press releases soon to be hitting the front pages worldwide. Bring on the sponsorship!

Love,
Juli Crockett
Evangenital

Do I have your number?

Do you want me to have your number?

I just got a crazy ass new phone from my employer... a Treo personal computer that I can talk through, too. It's nuts.

However, this means that I once again have to input all my phone numbers for all my various and sundry friends and beloved ones.

So here we go. Call me, email me, message me, let me know your digits, if you want me to know them.

And just to prove that I am truly fearless, I shall now post my phone number on the intra-web: 323-251-9645

Make magic happen. Reach out and touch someone.

xo
julio

Oh good lordy me...

I have hereby just formally entered my band, The Evangenitals, into a rock music competition at KROQ.com

May the Great Gods forgive my transgression.

Check it: http://www.kroq-data.com/kroqnow/ii06/bandlist.asp

Stay tuned for when it's votin' time!

- J

On October 15th my band, The Evangenitals, and I will be showing up at AIDS Walk Los Angeles to walk the streets of West Hollywood and we need a TEAM!

I would like to cordially invite you to join TEAM EVANGENITALS and walk with us! We are forming a mini-army of Evangenitalized enthusiasts the take the good word to the streets on this glorious day. If you are going to be in the Los Angeles area October 15th and you'd like to become a member of TEAM EVANGENITALS and walk with us please visit our team page, here.

If you are not in the Los Angeles area, and you'd like to make a contribution to the cause, you may do so either on our team page, or on my personal page, here: http://aidswalklosangeles2006.kintera.org/juliocrockett Every tiny donation helps a great deal!

And I'll be straight with you.... our goal is to raise an unprecedented amount of funds for the AIDS Walk, rouse up a battalion of troops, and get a bunch of media attention for the Evangenitals, our sponsors, and the AIDS Project Los Angeles. That's the motive rundown, folks, as far as I know it. Why not? Let's shoot for the stars!

Now, how will we raise an "unprecedented" amount of money? Well, if a million people give us one shiny dollar, we will raise a million dollars! Or, if one GIANT company gives us a million dollars.... hey, there's an idea!

That's right folks. I'm targeting the business sector currently responsible for about 15% of the GNP to sponsor TEAM EVANGENITALS.... the adult industry! Heck, they got cash to spare, they like press, I work in that industry, and they are actually a very socially conscious bunch overall when you get to know 'em... why not let them prove it? We already have a few major players lined up to sponsor, and there will be many more to come! We are just getting started with this, and there is already a TON of interests from top companies in the adult industry.

FYI: The money raised by AIDS Walk Los Angeles supports the services provided by AIDS Project Los Angeles in addition to other benefiting organizations representing the entire spectrum of HIV/AIDS services. So give. Give like the river of life. Let the funds flow. http://aidswalklosangeles2006.kintera.org/juliocrockett

If you have any questions, suggestion, or crazy ideas about how we can raise funds and create a media typhoon please email me! We need all the help we can get to take this over the top!

Thanks for your support!

Cheers,
Juli Crockett

Alright now... I'm just gonna blurt this out real quick because I think that's the only way it's going to get out. And it has to get out or else I'm gonna go crazy. In fact, I think it's way too late for that. Crazy has done already gone done, and I'm okay with that. Now it's really all about the recon mission to get my god-given goodness gracious back.

What exactly is the problem? FREEDOM! That's right. Eric Fromm nailed the nail right on its nail-ness. Lord, protect me from what I want because it seems that whatever it is I could probably have it if only I opened my arms and said yes, yes, and always yes. However, maybe not. And I'm okay with that, too. The good news is I don't have to know and I never get to anyhow. Ole!

It has occurred to me, several times, usually separated by several years, and always with great and forceful intensity, that we really do, very much, get to determine the definitions of certain things, for ourselves, such as: love, god, relationships, family, faith, right, wrong, reasonable, possible, and then some and probably everything else as well.
So why then, oh land of infinite possibility and boundless becoming, why do I choose to limit myself*? (*if in fact I do choose at all, but I will of course impose SOME limits on the various philosophical espionages that I will attach in this my much overdue essay written for an audience of one) Why am I imprisoned by these small and fearful thoughts of HOW to love, how to exist in a relationship, how to be a member of a family? Why, as such a seemingly creative person in other aspects of my life, do I adopt a strange status-quid-pro-quo personae when I find myself in the midst of a romantic exchange?

In other news... what I fear is that I may be entering into a most ludicrous selfish phase. Horror of horrors! I have begun to think troublesome* thoughts. (*Troublesome, of course, only when I begin to judge them from the danger zone of future-thought and possible outcomes. In the moment these thoughts are most delightful!)

I admit, I have even begun to consider "alternative lifestyles" such as polyamory, ethical slutting, so-called open relationships, farming and other agriculture pursuits. But there it is again! Labels! Even "experimental" is a label. A limit. Where is openness?

So, I'm reading The Power of Now now, like so many other jackasses, and it is indeed working its magic on me. It feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels good. There, I admitted it. There is stillness! There it is! There is the moment! Ahhhhh....

I can't stop masturbating in every spare second I have. (Fear not, I don't have many spare seconds. My health and wellness is assured.) And usually they are all falling right before bed, whilst my quasi-temporary alleged roommate is in the shower, and I'm reading the Power of Now. Never do I feel so in the spirit of things as when in the grips of a shuddering climax. There is the Now! It is here! Now! Aye!

So, because I am sure that I have not been clear at all, what I am suggesting is that here, on the eve of the coming of my 31st birthday, I am. And what am I?

I am fresh out of a 2 year relationship, yet my much hoped for and anticipated "freedom" and "experimental phase" has been somewhat "compromised" by various new "situations" that have arisen in the life of one J. Crockett, so-called "maverick director" according to the god folks of the RedCat Theater in Los Angeles.

What could be called the biggest play of my career is about to go onto the stage next weekend, what could be called the biggest show of the Evangenitals' career recently went down at the Knitting Factory, and what could be called the greatest year of my life is about to begin, again. So, all in all, all is well! All is well!

However, or rather, not however but AND in addition to all of this, I'm feeling good, looking pretty alright, and I'm as horny as a dolphin on ecstasy.

Oh yes, and did I mention that I am now a high-powered executive in the sex toy industry, an ordained minister, working on my PhD in Philosophy, and I have been on a spiritual quest clean and clear of all drugs and alcohol for nearly 5 years. SPICE IS NICE!

I believe, in honor of 31, in addition to some serious social activism and spreading of peace on earth, it is high-time for the straight pepper diet! At least, that's how I'm feeling NOW.

POWER OF NOW!
(at this point, after exclaiming this, you must imagine that I rocket through the ceiling at great speed, one fist thrust in the air with a smile on my face, into the ether, to fight crimes of minimal consequence)

I am full of love.... and balderdash.

Suffice it to say I'm feeling a little o'erwhelmed as of late. Indeed, sir. I am.

Life has gone on and continued to be full, full, and deliciously full. My cup overfloweth, and I am doing my damnedest to stay grateful for the all of it all, and not to whine like a little bitch about how many gifts are bestowed upon me on a daily basis.

I am, however, a bit 'o the little bitch, and I do whine, occasionally. I apologize.

Much of this current 'bout of anxious too-muchness has to do with the fact that I have a cold. Again. It is hot as fucksocks in Los Angeles, and it seems strange plain wrong that a person could have a sniffling, wintery cold in such intense heat.

There's that, and then there is the issue of the scourge which has befallen my face.

Whilst driving in my car the other day, some 'thing' attacked my face. I didn't really think much of it at the time. It didn't really register as a sting or a pain, just a sudden realization of a bump on my face. My face.

I scratched at it absent-mindedly on the way home, and by the time I reached my bathroom mirror to investigate, I had a huge, spreading bruise on my check. Flesh eating nano-spiders was one of the first things that came to mind, shortly after the Book of Job.

Now that bruise has become a strange scab-like somethingorother. I have no idea what is going on... on my face.

I blame Bruce Sterling.

If only I had installed an RFID tag in this MARK OF THE DEVIL then it could be available for bidding on Ebay right now.

I am, firmly, in the ism-schism.

God help us all.

Word for the Day: MAVERICK

mav·er·ick ( P ) Pronunciation Key (mvr-k, mvrk)
n.

1. An unbranded range animal, especially a calf that has become separated from its mother, traditionally considered the property of the first person who brands it.
2. One that refuses to abide by the dictates of or resists adherence to a group; a dissenter.

adj.

Being independent in thought and action or exhibiting such independence: maverick politicians; a maverick decision.

tuning is a fiction

my brain
what i'm thinking
is turtles
all the way down
so is everything
i see

hi there.

i'm in switzerland. i am surrounded by mountains, philosophy students, and sheep. the water is good. life is a-ok.

it takes me 24 hours to get from there (LA) to here (Saas-Fee), and that is a very long time. 2 planes, 2 trains, and one electric bus.

my first flight was from Los Angeles to London, and I got a migraine mid-flight. the first time i threw up, i was able to make it to the bathroom before i lost it. the second time, however, was more of a surprise, and i had to make use of the air-sickness bag for the first time in my life.

there is a first for everything.

this song goes out to the nice man sitting next to me on the plane that threw my baggie-o-vomit away for me, so i didn't have to do the walk of shame down the aisle myself, carrying my sack of liquid sickness.

thank you, sir. you are a true gentleman.

(mis-posted, re-posted)

there is something that i want to communicate, that i love very much, however, it's a place and a time and a visual and an experience so i wonder if i'll be able to explain it with any degree of effectiveness.

when i am walking the dog at night, wearing headphones, and i'm heading toward the 110 North Fair Oaks exit (i am walking down a dark residential street) and i find myself facing the headlights of a car waiting to exit the freeway ramp, walking into the light of the headlights, and this light is interrupted by the cars passing between that waiting car and me -- this is something i love.

it gives me a sense of distance and peace and space and ether and light.

in other news, i hit a young possum tonight.

upon telling the tragic tale to a friend of mine, he informed me that while stoned in high school, he hit a puppy. this, i agreed, was far worse than hitting a possum. not to say that a possum is any less of god's creature than a puppy. i just would have lost my fucking mind if i hit a puppy tonight.

I am tired as hell right now.. however, I wanted to check in and write some things down. Concretize some crap in digital format. What a jackass. I am certainly beyond delirious, but what the hell.

This weekend was insane. Wonderful stuff. 4 performances in 48 hours, and they all came off lovely. First was the play, then the Genitals at Highland Grounds, then the Dead Poet's Slam (I rocked the crowd will my country-fied rendering of the poetry of Edward Abbey, getting a straight Turkey (all 10's) in round two... and my team (Dead Male Poets) won in the men against women competition), then Evangina closed out the night. We tried to be just atmosphere, since it was a mighty chatty affair, however, in the middle of "Love You Forever" the room went dead silent, and we had full attention for the last two songs -- "Not Quite There" and "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" which we hadn't performed in a mighty long time. We sold 3 of the 4 albums I had on hand (I'm saving the last for Jain, who has been demanding one for a while) and we got ourselves home ASAP.

I came home and had to pack for a work-related trip to Mexico early tomorrow morning. Strategic Planning. What is the future of the sex toy biz? That is what we will be determining.

Meh... I can communicate the details, but what I'm not getting across is the feeeeeling. How wonderful it is to feel so creatively productive. Lisa and I keep talking about how we don't want this to end. Other folks give us shit for "doing too much"... but the truth is, this is how we like it. Booked to the gills, shows every night... I only wish I was jumping on a tour bus tomorrow to do it again, in another town. But the rest is good too. I love my robe, my dog, and sleep.

It never ends for long, though. Next weekend, the Evangenitals will throw down at the Fais Do Do supper club, and all will be right with the world.

There is more, so much more, I could jabber on forever trying to articulate the simplest thing. The living flow. When it rains, it pours.

p.s.
Clam Lynch of "Cut the Crap with Clam" is funny as hell. You have to check him out.

Much love,
Juli

For one showing only...

On Saturday April 29th at 1pm...
Inside the 24th Street Theater in Los Angeles...

A stage, 4 players, some puppets, a 7 piece orchestra...
And an audience full of children watching a horrific tale of love and death.

Come feel the magic of "Orpheus Crawling"

An opera for man and puppet by Juli Crockett

Composed by Jeremy Zuckerman

Featuring Shaughn Buchholz, Christine Berry, Lisa Dee, and Christopher Goodson

Scenic Design by Melissa Ficociello
Puppets and Costumes by I-Ching

Orchestra: Jeremy Zuckerman, Brett Lyda, Juli Crockett - Electric Guitars, Mike Ibarra - Concert Bass, Jeff Jones - Electric Bass, Mike Starr - Drums, Paloma Uldrova - Violin

The show is just $5. Limited seating, so please RSVP.

The 24th Street Theater is located at:
1117 West 24th Street
Los Angeles, CA 90007
213 745 6516

See you on the other side.

- Juli

I am the lagging blogger. Lisa and Brettsy have both updated their blogs, and I, alas, have not. I've been busy. I'm in rehearsal every night. The play is coming together, the Evangenitals are about to throw down the best show yet, the new EP is taking shape, I'm memorizing poetry for the Dead Poet's Slam on Sunday night, and Evangina is going to step into the warm glow for a night of girl-music post-Slam. It's going to be one hell of a weekend.

My boyfriend and I broke up on Friday night. That's okay. Don't be sad. It's for the best. The situation shows every indication of being utterly civil, and actually kind of wonderful. We're staying friends. Hell, we're still living together, at least for a while. We have our child (read: dog) to think of. Actually, I think there's a good chance we may even "date". The bottom line is, I'm a busy girl, and I'm in love with my life (read: artistic pursuits) and I want to be AVAILABLE to it. In other words, I'm not a very good girlfriend right now. So be it. I am, however, a very good friend.

I may be out of line making such bold statements, but I truly feel the Genitals are approaching the proverbial tippinig point. I feel so much love coming from people... the buzz is intense. Our rehearsal are getting SERIOUS... not in the solemn, moody sense, but in the sense that we are pushing ourselves. Moving beyond the comfortable into new terrain. We are expanding and growing. We've got a new drummer, Salad is back on board and shining with that proud papa glow. It feels good.

It is my great hope that folks turn out in droves for the Highland Grounds gig. I think it's going to be a historical moment. Some very important demarcation of something. A line drawn in the sand, which announces, from this point forward.... or, simply, WE ARE HERE.

After this, everything is different. We've never been here before, and I'll be a whole different person tomorrow. Nice knowing you! I'll meet you again. Ever-changing. Ever-rebirthing. Ever-wonderous. Something like that.

Ahhh... LIFE!

Full to bursting. Ain't it grand?

My horoscope keeps telling me to make time for my sweetheart, yet I cannot! LIFE! FULL TO BURSTING!

When I am awoken in the middle of the night, I am one of the angriest people on earth. It is surprising even to myself. First response, RAGE! My dentist tells me that I grind my teeth. I wake up sore from tensed muscles. Aching shoulders pulled up into my ears, fists clenched, and the first sound I hear is that SCRAPE of my teeth separating, on a sideward slide. This is my restful state.

What is going on in that unconscious time? Why so tense and angry? My dreams do not seem to provide too much insight into the underlying causes of my absolute irritability. My answers lay elsewhere, these days.

I haven't been meditating. That is a great cause of tension and buzzing static brain syndrom. There is nothing worse that the impotent buzzing of a brain on the fuzz. Alright, that's an overstatement. That Holocaust was worse than me having unproductive brain activity. I retract my previous statement.

Ahh.... the Holocaust! That eternal trump card! #1 on the most ungrateful bitches gratitude list. This is not that. I am not there. All is relatively well.

I will shut my mouth and thank God for the life I have. Two sharp floggings with the horse-hair whip, walk a mile on my knees, and all is forgiven. Amen.