Thursday, July 24, 2003

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

VII. Alone (at last)

And when I say alone, what I mean is, he toiled alone and in the dark.
Not easily explained or understood.
The words of the wise and their dark sayings.
Widespread ignorance,
lack of progress.
As, we are all in the dark concerning his plans.
As, plans hatched in the dark.
As, darks and lights are both necessary.
As, water is necessary to life.
That which must be done.

Below these watery pastures lie the answers to all things, which we can only gaze upon and wonder at their unsteady reflection. The image that I see beneath is the moody moving image of my state of being. And all these words which flow and stream are but a feeble attempt to put a label on a feeling. To transform a feeling into an idea into a word into a memory into something I can recall at a later date and say ‘Oh yes, remember when and how it was and doesn’t it feel so nice that it all goes on and on and that it all isn’t meaningless?’ Because I have assigned a word and a meaning to every thing. And each experience has its category and each memory is in its cabinet and my life can be written down in a series of anecdotes and occurrences which will make men smile and frown and laugh and cry and I live and I die in an entirely rational manner.

I shall proceed to my logical conclusion.

Tuesday, July 01, 2003


Julio's Dad was born in Alabama to a family of Lunatics.

Dad was hit by two cars in the same day and had a staple shot into his head. He wrote a book on the history of Alabama, became a history professor, and had affairs with his students. He won 2nd place on Jeopardy but was unable to claim his prize because he hadn't paid child support since the divorce. Dad had an awful temper and would often be sent to his room, by Mom. Mom would make us put ice in his pants to calm him down. He once made scrambled eggs with sugar in them and threw them against the wall. He hid the household bills in shoeboxes that he kept in the closet and recorded porn movies at the end of our cartoon tapes. He tried to make me eat orange peels and hot dogs with peanut butter and cheese because "it all went to the same place anyway." Dad got born-again and wrote a 3000 page novel on the sex life of Jesus Christ. He married a Norweigian woman he met on a cruise ship and moved to Puyallup, Washington where they ran a tuxedo rental business. They would not loan my brother a tuxedo for prom. The new wife fell off a horse, hit her head and went insane. Dad heard Jesus telling him what numbers to play in Vegas. He developed cancer of the lymph nodes and died, right around Christmas time.