Wednesday, December 30, 2009


There is a movement underway. All sorts of isolated individuals asserting their accidental individuality in the face of evolutionary necessity, as some wise man once said. It's a crazy little posse we've got forming. Growing in numbers. United in a feeling that can't even be put into words but we signify it by pointing to the banner flying with the L-O-V-E in big 'ol letters made of that gooey stuff that is pumpin' through your guts moments after taking your eyes off the one you're really feeeeeeeeeeeeeeelin' it for, at that moment, whomever they may be, on that day, at that time, in that instant.

The story has been told many times of how I once fell in love with a man riding a bike up a steep hill on a hot day, simply for the effort he was exerting. For the love of his effort. The effortless, too, hath a glowing space in my heart. Yes. Love the effortless, But shit in my shoes, do I ever love effort! Right effort. Right thought. Right practice. In a world without right and wrong? How completely audacious!

Each man is responsible for his own soul, and each to his own, as they say. However – and this is a most fascinating point when one considers it as one should – there is an interplay. An uncontrollable interplay.

It is hard for me to make a sentence go in any one direction lately. Luckily, at least, when reading (in the English language, and a few others I’ve encountered) we move our eyes from left to right, top to bottom, and follow the phrase withersoever it goes. (some poets and word-artists and linguists and fartists have had some other ideas) however, the instinct of the masses remains. The hoi polloi, in general, in the Americas, reads LEFT to RIGHT.

Compare. When listening to another speak -- save for flights of fancy, blank spots, possible drug interference and intentional or unintentional ignoring -- we listen as we live, in real time, experiencing linearity, following the narrative, abstract though the subject matter may be, withersoever it leads. We listen, much like we read. I, personally, both listen and read, and, speaking from my own experience, since that is all I truly have any authority to speak from, can assuredly say that I listen much like I read.

There is an interplay – yet, within it, there is a need for an isolated thought process. A personal inventiveness, which can be viewed as an interaction with the other (though there be no other) be it a person, book, sound, image, or hallucination. Regardless, there is the need for times of quiet in one’s own (common) mind.

Also, we must allot sufficient time for the mutually adventurous to spend time together and create. To breed and compose. Interact. Discuss. Plan. Reflect. The interplay is everything. The one looking at itself as two (or more). Experiencing itself as two (or more).

There is no explaining what has not yet happened to someone who has not yet experienced it.

It is very difficult to merely exist. Practically impossible.

And now, Oh My Lord Don Quixote, all I ask on this night like any other night is the courage to follow, withersoever thou leadest my aching frame; to heed the call of adventure, wheneversoever it heralds, and to love, my dear sweet holy idiot, to love. To cultivate the unconditional giving of self to thy children and plebeians. Thy hoodlums and wackos. Thy dejected, rejected, snotty and shitfaced. Oh lord, sweet lord, daddy of the sugars, momma of the fuckers, sister of the lovesick, brother of the bigness, cousin of the unconscious, uncle of the uglynasties, friend of the faithless, lover of all things just as they are and however they may want to be... give it up. Give it up to us like a 5am jackpot after a long night of pullin' dry on the one armed bandit.

I can see it. It's already happening. It's as ridiculous and pathetic and gorgeous as it can be. The love is raining down, everywhere I'm looking. The sky is falling and it's about time. The rain is helping it all soak in.


Sunday, December 27, 2009

something to (not) think about

You are asked -- temporarily, of course -- to lay aside all of your philosophical, religious, and political opinions, and to become almost like an infant, knowing nothing. Nothing, that is, except what you actually hear, see, feel, and smell. Take it that you are not going anywhere but here, and that there never was, is, or will be any other time than now. Simply be aware of what actually *is* without giving it names and without judging is, for you are now feeling out reality itself instead of ideas and opinions *about* it. There is no point in trying to suppress the babble of words and ideas that goes on in most adult brains, so if it won't stop, let it go on as it will, and listen to it as if it were the sound of traffic or the clucking of hens.

Let you ears hear whatever they want to hear; let your eyes see whatever they want to see; let your mind think whatever it wants to think; let your lungs breathe in their own rhythm. Do not expect any special result, for in this wordless and idealess state, where can there be past or future, and where any notion of purpose? Stop, look, and listen... and stay there awhile before you go on.

- Alan Watts, Tao: The Watercourse Way

Link to Text:

Saturday, December 26, 2009

a nice reminder

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Monday, December 21, 2009

RIP Brittany Murphy (and Western Civilization)

I believe the following paragraph from a news article officially marks the surety of the next Decline of Western Civilization...

"Ashton Kutcher, who once dated Murphy and co-starred with her in 2003's "Just Married," posted his condolences on his Twitter page today. "See you on the other side kid," it began."

Read more:


Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Just found a cool set of pictures on Flickr of the opera I directed at CalArts last spring.

Such a cool opportunity to work in the MOD, with fantastic singers and actors, full orchestra, video design.... the works! I love that school and I love that space!! :-)

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Live for Today

I just found a piece of old writing of mine in which the final lines were:

"Panties down. Live for today."

That saying is now posted in large letters on my wall for maximum daily reflection.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009