Monday, December 29, 2008

Thought for the Day

As to salvation and all that... The greatest teachers, the true healers, I would say, have always insisted that they can only point the way. The Buddha went so far as to say: "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."

The great ones do not set up offices, charge fees, give lectures, or write books. Wisdom is silent, and the most effective propaganda for truth is the force of personal example. The great ones attract disciples, lesser figures whose mission it is to preach and teach. These are the gospelers who, unequal to the highest task, spend their lives converting others. The great ones are indifferent, in the profoundest sense. They don't ask you to believe: they electrify you by their behavior. They are the awakeners. What you do with your life is only of concern to you, they seem to say. In short, their only purpose here on earth is to inspire. And what more can one ask of a human being than that?

- Henry Miller, Sexus

Saturday, December 27, 2008

It's Nothing

Lisa Dee gave me the 1st season of Ashton Kutcher's "Punk'd " on DVD for Christmas, along with a Border's gift card (cuz she knowz I gotz to read!) and a pair of pink slippers that say, "I love my BFF" on 'em. It's a good thing her mom was in town to enforce Christmas upon her, as Deedle often likes to try to hide from the formal participation in holidays. :-)

My all-time favorite Punk'd is the one with Justin Timberlake, where they make him believe that all of his possessions, house, pets, EVERYTHING is being seized by a Tax Enforcement agency. Not only is the prank executed with such immense orchestration and precision that it is awe-inspiring... Timberlake's post-prank reaction is so beautiful and joyous and relieved and funny that it really makes me love that guy.

Today I was turned on to Stefan Bruggemann's "Nothing Boxes" by David Hurlin, who is one of the few people I have met who shares my intense obsession with nothing. I am grateful to have another set of eyes and ears out there on the front lines of art life and experience sending me reports whenever nothing makes its appearance.

At the end of the Justin Timberlake Punk'd episode, he finally picks up one of the boxes that he assumed was full of his stuff. They were all completely empty.

Absence is the new presence. Everything is connected. Nothing is real.

Happy New Year?


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

For the Love of the Damon

I know this video is uber-old news, but who cares! I was telling someone about it today and they HADN'T seen it, and the memory of it so delighted me that I had to look it up and watch it again. Then I figured I'd share it with YOU, too. It's Sarah Silverman's "I'm F@cking Matt Damon" song. And it's funny.

Now, I've never been particularly responsive to Sarah Silverman's comedy, which I know is blasphemy to some folks. Oh well. This video, however, is really funny to me, mostly because of how hysterically awesome Matt Damon is in it. That guy has made some interesting career moves and come out as a friggin' superstar. He kicked some major acting ass in The Departed and The Bourne Trilogy is just friggin' awesome. That's right. I love 'em all. Can't wait for the "Untitled Jason Bourne Project" to come out in 2010. That's almost as exiting as the coming of 2012!

The conversation that reminded me of the Sarah Silverman/Matt Damon video was regarding Alanis Morissette's version of the "My Humps" song (which, incidentally, I finally heard the original version of recently, whilst driving in my car, and was utterly horrified at how completely base and idiotic it was. Amazingly Fergie's "London Bridge" was a MASSIVE development in poetics and content from this banal piece of mediocre asininity.) In the end, the Alanis video was determined to be "not that funny" by those conversing on the topic, as it didn't really "go" anywhere after the initial "joke" was revealed. As a wise man once said, it "missed the rising action." :-)

Friday, December 19, 2008

i love my band

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I LOVE MY BAND!

i really, really do.

i love my band.



Wednesday, December 17, 2008

i want what you want

reciprocally inspired by drummer tabla philosopher poet player enthusiastically inclined zen dada motivational speaker david hurlin of the drum theory and revelation blog i've decided to write this abandoned blog entry here now tonight at this very moment because i am to some extent or another what i would consider to be BEHIND SCHEDULE with THIS, my personal blog.

i will, however, now utilize some punctuation, which AT THIS MOMENT strikes me as a funny word in it's relation to punctuality and is something that i will now have to dig up the root on, define for myself in poetic fashion, and perchance make a graph determining the intersection and the direction of these two terms. if it makes a cross, i will not be in the least be surprised, yet utterly delighted at the repeating pattern.

so, what's what? life is good. the evangenitals are playing shows. i just got hired by my alma mater CalArts to direct a really wild opera. lisa dee is blogging again. i'm going to start learning TM tomorrow (today). my student loans came through, giving me the illusion of financial security for the time being. cash'd out gigs continue to be a blast for me and i'm becoming more and more of an essential part of the show. i'm reading more, feeling more, thinking more, writing more, loving more, feeling my heart open it's barn doors more, tasting and sensing and aching more acutely. and i smell a lot. :-)

i helped a friend move today. i read nietzsche today. i spent a couple hours in a bookstore today and ran into some folks i really like. i talked about poetry with a stranger today. i lifted a lot of boxes and moved furniture. i ate a spicy thai salad. i saw my old boss. i got pulled over by a cop for my headlight being out and he didn't give me a ticket. i watched a movie on netflix today. i got to see mister turtle's sleepy/closed eyes today, which is one of my great ecstatic joys of pure adorability. today was a good day.

tomorrow. today. it's late. same difference. the sun doesn't actually rise anyhow. :-)

love always. seriously.
reverend juli crockett

Monday, December 08, 2008

I Make The Rain

I love hot tea. I'm not sure if it's the agave nectar which I use to sweeten it, the warmth of the liquid, or the actual flavor of the teas that I make that pleases me so; whatever it is, it works a magic on me. I like the ritual of making tea. I like putting the loose leaves in my Japanese-style teapot and mixing weird combos to make a hot wet flavor experience. And I like the cups that I drink it from. I like the way they fit in my hands. I just like it all.

Some time ago, my teapot (the one I boil the water in, not the Japanese-style one) stopped whistling, so now when I boil the water for my tea, I have to stay generally alert as to the fact that there is water boiling on the stove, since the pot is not going to be so kind as to whistle and let me know. Alas, I am not always good at this.

More than I'd like to admit, I get distracted and totally forget that I'm boiling water. It has, on more than one occasion, come to pass that I will end up participating in the transformation of an entire pot of water into steam by neglecting the boiling water on the stove. This used to make me feel bad, as I thought I was wasting water, until I realized that perhaps I am playing a small part in the Hydrological Cycle, helping the big 'ol water wheel of the world with it's turning.

The way I see it, every time I offer up a pot of steam to the heavens, I'm helping to plump up the clouds, weigh down the sky, and bring the rain. And I like the rain, too. :-)

And another thing...

On the bagged tea tip: I friggin' love the teas (like Yogi Tea or Good Earth Tea) that give you some words of wisdom or a famous quote on the paper tag. I'm a sucker for lil' nuggets like that, and I appreciate chunks of literature and/or anything I can take as a sign and/or signal from the universe wherever I can get it.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

I like music, yes I do!

I really like music. I especially like GOOD** music that makes me really HAPPY.

What is making me happy RIGHT NOW is:
Taken together, that is an awful lot to be happy about... and I am awful happy. AWFUL! HAPPY!

** It is in fact BECAUSE the music makes me HAPPY that it is indeed GOOD...
according to the general philosophy of ethics, morals, and WTF is goodness anyhow.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Too Much of a Good Thing?

Rock Fatigue?
Originally uploaded by juliocrockett
Many thanks to Michael for taking pictures of the show at T's Bowl last night!

I've posted some gems to my Flickr account for your viewing pleasure and am writing a big 'ol blog post about our residency at Mr T's Bowl over on the General Genitals Blog:

Also, there are some new Evangenitals videos from LAST week's Evangenitals jam at the Bowl freshly posted on MySpace Videos, thanks to fiddle player Andrea Baker's family clan. It was our first show ever with accordion player Ari Desano and I'm real happy to have it documented in perpetuity on the interweb!

Much love,

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

An Evangenital in Spaceland

*** THIS JUST IN ***

Evangenitals drummer David Hurlin is going to be drumming with EZRA REICH ( TONIGHT (Tuesday Dec 2nd) at 11pm.

Since I can't be there (I'm in San Diego recording Johnny Cash/June Carter tunes with Cash'd Out) I'm hoping YOU can go and see this rare spectacle. :-)

Ezra Reich's music is (in my opinion) like John Maus arm-wrestling David Lynch in a Technicolor water ballet. Yes, you can quote me on that.

Regardless of how you felt about the 80's, you will be sure to appreciate how friggin' TIGHT this act is. I'm talking ORCHESTRATED. With STRINGS, man.

So go do it, dig it, and support our dear David Hurlin on his fantastic voyage. :-)

Much love,
Juli Crockett & the Evangenitals

Monday, November 24, 2008

Awesome Article and Free Show to Boot!

The Evangenitals are playing a free pre-Thanksgiving "Thank You" show on Wednesday November 26th, 11pm at Mr T's Bowl that is sure to be SUPER-AWESOME.

Why? Because our alt-country hillbilly love punk rock revolution SEXTET is taking it to the next level (SEPTET!) with the addition of Killsonic Marching Gang accordion player Ari Desano on this glorious night! Yee-haw!


We just got an AWESOME write-up in the Pasadena Weekly that speaks in great detail and descriptiveness of what a spectacular LIVE act we are... so if you've been putting off seeing us in the flesh, THE TIME IS NOW!

Check out the article here:

Wednesday November 26th
Mr. T's Bowl
5621 1/2 N. Figueroa St
Los Angeles, CA 90042
Seeing Thingz, We You and Under the Asbury are also on the bill.
Evangenitals at 11pm
Call (323) 960-5693 for details


Juli & the Evangenitals

Can't make it? No worries!

More upcoming shows:
December 3rd: Mr T's Bowl, Highland Park
December 4th: The Buccaneer, Sierra Madre
December 14th: Redwood Bar, Downtown Los Angeles

Thursday, November 20, 2008

A Poem

There is a statue in Baltimore, MD of Edgar Allan Poe in which he is portrayed with an enormous penis, tightly packed in his slacks,
bulging & unmistakable.
I wondered, upon beholding this vision, if it was perchance stipulated in his will that he be portrayed thusly,
in perpetuity.

- Juli Crockett

Monday, November 17, 2008

Creativity and Encounter

"Creative people, as I see them, are distinguished by the fact that they can live with anxiety, even though a high price may be paid in terms of insecurity, sensitivity, and defenselessness for the gift of "divine madness," to borrow the term used by the classical Greeks. They do not run away from non-being, but by encountering and wrestling with it, force it to produce being. They knock on silence for an answering music; they pursue meaninglessness until they can force it to mean."

- Rollo May, Courage to Create

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Amor... amor... amor....

I can't stop listening to Eydie Gorme and Los Panchos. All weekend I've been obsessed with this album. I want the Evangenitals to cover every single song on it. There's something about the Spanish language that is in my friggin' SOUL... even if it ain't in my blood (as far as I know)...

It is just plain depressing to me that I've forgotten so much of the Spanish that I learned when I was living in Guatemala. I spent 3 months in Quetzaltenango taking intensive spanish lessons, living with a Guatemalan family, and spending lots of time in "el mero mero" of the Guatemalan cultural hot spots (such as bars, strip joints, and las casas de mujeres). I drank sour orange juice from little plastic bags sold on the streets and ate more garlic knots from la panderia than any sane gringo should. It was delightful. I loved that town. By the time I left I was practically fluent, writing songs and dreaming in espanol. QUE PASO???

I got back to the states and got shy. Stopped talking. Stopped practicing. Started forgetting. Depressing.

There is still quite a lot of it en mi mente, though, and I've been starting to speak it more and more. I've been listening to 105.5 again. Singing along to the classics. Obsessing on Eydie Gorme. Reading Pablo Neruda on the Spanish side of the page. There is a storm brewing. I'm feeling some bilingual Evangenitals on the horizon. Breaking into the Bolero market. Watch out world. Mirame, mundo!!!


Thursday, November 13, 2008

about a bout of drought

Yes, yes, yes... this is one of those stream-of-consciousness blogs whose sole intent is to break the non-blogging dry spell and let you know, dear blog reader, that you are, as always, in my heart and on my mind, and I in no way am intending to hold you without (out side of) my most innermost experience and day to day being/becomingness.

The fact of the matter is, everything I've been doing I've been doing, more or less, for you. For the betterment of our communication, getting myself one step closer to self-realization so that I can move into the grander more impressive production number known as "self-exposure"... however, I certainly want the self exposed to be my most GENUINE and EVOLVED self possible (at that very moment) and therefore I have to retired to my inner workshop, from time to time, to the "smithy of my very soul" as James Joyce, I think it was, once said, to batter myself with the hot pokers and anvils and hammers of my psyche and whip myself into shape so that I may meet you in the best possible way... 100% Juli Crockett.

Yes, I have been cleaning house... literally. Taking out trash, cleaning out the fridge, organizing drawers and cupboards, cleaning dishes, rearranging furniture, alphabetizing books in the bookshelf, GETTING MY OWN HOUSE IN ORDER so that THE ANSWERS MAY COME.

Answers to what? Well..... THAT, my friends, is still to come. More will be revealed, and it will be revealed tomorrow. I guarantee it.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

If you love Johnny Cash...

You're gonna freak the f*ck OUT at this show!

Cash'd Out - the world's premiere Johnny Cash tribute band and the only JC tribute band endorsed by the Cash family themselves - is playing at the Viper Room TONIGHT (Saturday November 8th), and I, Juli Crockett, am their infamous "June Carter". I'm going to be opening the show, playing guitar and singing Carter Family songs, and then dueting with the Johnny Cash singer, who is friggin' unbelievable. It's really a fun show and I hope you can make it out to see it. And what's more, Evangenitals extended family member George Bernardo is going to be back there on the drums keeping it steady!

This is a rare LA appearance, as Cash'd Out is based out of San Diego and we mostly play there, Vegas, or other states. :-)

We play at 10pm. I believe it's $10. I may be able to get some folks on the list if you let me know you're coming for certain.

Saturday November 8th
The Viper Room
8852 Sunset Blvd
West Hollywood, CA 90069

Much love,
Brewing tea, listening to some good beats, and getting down with the 5 Rites in the sunlight streaming into my living room. Bliss! :-)
Testing out the, Great Lord of the Micro-blogging Aggregatortomitrons!!! :-)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Cash'd Out in Tempe, AZ

Cash'd Out
Originally uploaded by aa4on
Just came across this rather awesome action shot of me performing with Cash'd Out in Tempe, AZ!

The internet blows my mind. I was just in Tempe on Saturday night performing, and now I can see a picture of it here on Flickr. Crazy!!!

Big thanks aa4on for posting this. :-)

Friday, October 24, 2008

David Banner's "Get Like Me" Verse 3

Have you ever seen a Chevy with the (get like me)?

Saturday, October 18, 2008


I seriously need to take a shower before the Evangenitals show(s) tonight. I've been getting DOWN with the real deal house-cleaning all day today, inhaling chemicals, doing laundry, blasting scalding water at weird shower mold on the suction cups of the crocodile mat that inhabits my bathtub, scrubbing floors and sinks and toilets, sorting mail and receipts... I even cleaned out my purse, organized business cards, stacked up the change. And there's still so much to do. Ridiculous how things can get into such disarray when I'm busy.

There's been a lot going on lately. I've been taking lots of phone cam pics that I need to post which will help to tell the stories of Claremont fire pits, Keith's fashion sense, our recording session with students from the SAE Institute in Hollywood, and other Genital adventures. I swear, I'll get it together and get 'em up here soon so you can see Keith's golden slacks illuminated by FIRE! Huzzah.

As for now, it's time to hop in my incredible clean shower. Hop, hop, hop...

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Found Footage

Originally uploaded by Gema Campos Hernando
Just found this picture from the Cash'd Out show in Truckee on Flickr. Amazing what's out there in the world when you're out in the world. :-)

Saturday, October 04, 2008

As a light mist falls from the skies of Los Angeles, California, USA, the Evangenitals are preparing to go play a show at the Eagle Rock Music Festival. We're the final act, after all the other stages close down. We get to end the whole affair, streaming love into the crowd, streaming live on KXLU. My great hope is that either the skies clear and stop tinkling on the people, and/or that a great number of folks decide to endure and stick it out till the end with us.

I'm sitting here putting the greatest thought, care, and pure love I can into the selection of which 7 to 8 songs we're going to unleash into the ether this evening during our tight 35 minute set. Everything, of course, is subject to change as soon as we feel the ACTUAL energy of the crowd and see what kind of a magic carpet ride they are wanting to go on with us.

Here is my good-weather conjuring stick figure drawing of the day:

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Whilst reading Agnes Martin last night I realized that the concept of "perfection" (which only exists in the mind, and not in nature) may very well be a form of (in)sanity. A collective mental illness.

The excerpt that trigger the realization went something like this:

The Greeks made a great discovery. They discovered that in Nature there are no perfect circles or straight lines or equal spaces. Yet they discovered that their interest and inclination was in the perfection of circles and lines, and that in their minds they could see them and that they were then able to make them. They realized that the mind knows what the eye has not seen but that what the mind knows is perfection.

(From Agnes Martin, Writings. Essay: "What We Do Not See If We Do Not See")


I see this:

I read this:

I love this:

Monday, September 29, 2008

A soft impulse of love is the sole life of a melting heart.

A tiny hope of love brings the light of dawn through the darkness of a lengthy night, and love, small, even as the twinkling of the faintest star, keeps the light at the altar shining.

And in that faintest light of love, some day, the beloved finds his way and creeps on in silence, in quietness, drawn by that tiny, tiny love, which kept the door open in the hope of fulfillment; in the hope of fulfillment, that some day and some time the darkness of the night would give way to the brightness of the midday sun in a clear sky.

- Maharishi -
Love and God

And now, today's paintbrush meditation:



A masterpiece theater-style reading aloud of the lyrics of David Banner song "Get Like Me" (Stuntin' is a Habit) by poet/musician David Hurlin. Pretty awesome.

read more | digg story

Sunday, September 28, 2008


Evangenitals drummer David Hurlin has hereby entered the realm of Performance Art with his latest BAD VLOG entry: "David Hurlin Reads "Get Like Me" By David Banner."

I hereby decree a movement be begun in which we ferret all all the profound poetry speeding by un-excavated in these POPULAR SONGS.

"When she sees the carrots
They're real
Just like a rabbit"
(David Banner)

Meanwhilst, I have been horribly remiss in my VLOGGING as well as my BLOGGING (and my journaling and studying and reading and writing and the rest of it as well, I may as well add, since we're on the subject!) though I've been doing lots of OTHER STUFF which can be proven by a mere glance at my PERSONAL GIG CALENDAR on Myspace.

My apologies if it seems I'm yelling... I'm feeling the CAPS LOCK today, not for aggressive reasons -- I'm employing it purely to express ENTHUSIASM! YAY!

I shall be back in the saddle again soon. Don't you worry! In fact, I suspect the mere typing of these words suggests I am already there! Always & already, almost & anachronistically even if, as the wonderfully astute Gertrude Stein said, there is no there there for me to be.

Evangenitals & Improvisers at Mr T's Bowl in Highland Park

This super-awesome (though uncredited!?!) photo of the Evangenitals appeared in the September 25th - October 1st 2008 edition of LA Citybeat, page 10. Available right now on newsstands throughout Los Angeles.

It was quite a fun and weird show with costumes and improvisers and great crowd enthusiasm. We played with Mahi Gato & Piel and the whole evening was totally Boss.

I'm working on editing some video that was shot of the evening and it will be appearing on the Evangenitals YouTube Channel very soon!

Much Love,
Juli & the Evangenitals

Friday, September 26, 2008

The problem with not blogging on a regular basis is that I simultaneously develop both a BACKLOG (b.log?) of all sorts of thoughts, emotions, experiences, etc that I want to share with you all (whomeversoever you may be) and I start to question the validity of ANYTHING that I may want to share, putting crazy pressures and standards upon myself and dreaming of a magnum opus blog entry of PARADIGM SHIFTING dimensions that will forever alter the lives of whomeversoever may read these words of INSPIRATION and BOUNDLESS INFECTIOUS HOPE.

However, eventually the moment arises when I neither can nor can't stand to blog or not to blog anymore and that's usually when I do. So here we are...

Right now I'm sitting in the Tribal Cafe in Echo Park, right near the glorious twinkling lights of downtown Los Angeles, CA watching the Henry Bermudez Trio rock out to a handful of folks in this insanely hot room. The Tribal Cafe is one of those places that always make me feel like I'm in another country... like a Mexican Restaurant in Bremen, Germany cooperatively run by homeless artists. Weird art, lots of painted cement, no air conditioning, slow service, surprisingly good food with vegan options on the menu, an air of social consciousness pervading the joint, all kinds of music coming through, a small dirt parking lot without lines drawn. These are things that make me feel like a traveler in my own town.

Which reminds me, I've been fantasizing about hostels lately. Backpacking through somewhere... a high-tech explorer with very little clothing & toiletries, yet a really good camera & cellphone & a laptop. A compulsion to communicate every ounce of my experience, both to myself and others. (Are you LISTENING, self? Did you SEE that? What do you THINK about that, self? That was CRAAAAZY!?)

The Evangenitals
have been playing a ton of lil' shows all over town. We're taking advantage of the idea of the "public rehearsal" to get "tight" for the Eagle Rock Music Festival on October 4th. We're also doing an in-store appearance at Rhino Records in Claremont on October 3rd and an Obama Fundraiser on October 5th, so it's going to be quite the Evangenitals weekend, which I'm super excited about... considering that I FRIGGIN' LOVE THESE PEOPLE AND WANT TO TRAVEL THE WORLD OVER WITH THEM!!!

Tomorrow I venture down to Ramona, CA to do my June Carter bit with Cash'd Out at the Ramona Theater. I hear it's a really nice old place and that Cash'd Out has a real nice following there, so I'm excited to see the joint.

I'm totally loving the experience of performing with Cash'd Out. Strangely enough, neither I nor the rest of the band *ever* seem to get sick of singing Johnny Cash songs. The Evangenitals even busted out a cover of "Long Black Veil" at the request of bass player Keith Lubow at last Thursday's open rehearsal/show at our rehearsal/performance space studio (experience). It was friggin' great.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I'm so friggin' excited to have been turned on to the Paintbrush program for Macs! Ever since I quit my job at the sex toy factory, the one thing that I have missed about my PC was MSPaint and my daily practice of drawing stick figure drawings.

Well... I'M BACK, PEOPLE!!!! :-)


Thursday, September 18, 2008

This is crazy...

Not only does this blog quote Patrick's blog about his film shoot with C Thomas Howell and Judd Nelson, but when I visited the site, the photo in the top corner was by MY BROTHER, photographer Jaisen Crockett, and linked to a site featuring his work. What are the friggin' chances??

11% !!!!

(this blog quotes Patrick and the other blog, too)

Awesomeness abounds.

In other news, I posted my 2nd VLOG:

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Friday, September 12, 2008


You may know by now that I have been making a living lately performing as the "June Carter" in the world's premier Johnny Cash tribute band "Cash'd Out"

What you may *not* know is that we are performing THREE shows in the LA area THIS WEEKEND. So, if you've been itching to see the spectacle of me, Juli Crockett, in a dress and heels with curly hair and my southern accent set free belting classic Johnny Cash and Carter family tunes... you are in luck!

Here's the scoop:

First, we are playing a BBQ Festival at 2PM on Saturday in Santa Monica. This event will have great food, bands and activities for the whole family. And meat. Lots of meat. I'll try not to cry about it. :-)

For more info:

Then, Saturday night we are playing Joe's Great American Bar and Grill in Burbank. Cash'd Out has been trying to get a gig at this world famous club for years! So, please support this event so we can continue to perform at the venue.

For more info:

Finally, on Sunday we are playing the UltraLux Car Show in Redondo Beach. That should be wild.

For more info:

Let me know if you'd like to come to any of these shows. There is always a good chance that I can get you on "the list" if money is an issue! :-)

Much love,

Thursday, September 11, 2008


If I fall any deeper (into this horrific joy love)
Without a doubt unflinching I'm going to
Drown choke on blood from the great oceanic heart
Pumping the good rhythm all the way into breaking bones

If I look any longer (into this blinding light)
Without a doubt my eyes will
Shriveled unseeing spots of black ash glowing spirit beads
A new musket I am rightfully named "shoots self in the foot"

If I breathe any longer (this infinite cold breath)
Without a doubt my lungs will
Burst buoyant flame blasted hot air floating ropeless
Shrieking land locked tempest worms the moist dirt inspiring

If I touch once more (this body inhabiting)
Without a doubt the I will be
Curvilinear endless hunger ever-blossoming exponential sweet tooth
Carnival locked door integrity fast one two three HOW DID HE DO IT?

To review,
Without a doubt the I will be


(This chapter has been removed from the original)
And the rest is silence.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

What an awesome night...
Evangenitals Keith Lubow
Lisa Dee and I went to see Evangenitals gift from the Lord and bassist (among a multitude of other instruments-player) Keith Lubow play with Deborah McColl at South Pasadena Music. Her tunes were sweet and deep and philosophical and heartbreaking and when she crooned "it's raining, it's raining, but we're connected now" my heart did in fact break open and the tears began to flow. It was such a beautiful set I had to water it like a flower. :-)

The next song, she announced, was co-written by her and her lover, soul mate, and guitarist of 15 years (Keith's dad, guitarist Patrick Lubow). They started the song a month before he died, and they finished it, together, she said, a month after he died. Gorgeous. Lovely. Love. Straight up Rumi and Shams. I dig it.

You can download the song "We're Connected" for free, here: We're Connected mp3.

Post-show, I went back to Keith's mom's house (she and Deborah are both huge fans and supporters of the Evangenitals) and we ended up having an impromptu all-requests Evangenitals hootenanny, with Keith and I on dueling guitars. I, of course, am no match for his ludicrous multi-instrumentalist abilities. It's awe-inspiring how many different things he can play: bass, guitar, mandolin, banjo, trumpet, trombone, ukulele, harmonica... and that's just what was available in the room! I'm sure there's more.

Accompanying us were violinist Andrea Baker (formerly of Evangenitals pal-band Shaped Like a Gun! Small world!) playing the mandolin, her husband (a composer who's name is totally escaping me) playing the uke, and James Graham, mandolin-player and vocalist for Deborah McColl, plucking around on the banjo. Nashville guitar genius Gary Talley of The Box Tops was in the room and listening... however, he was on to drinking wine and off of playing for the night.

We did a ton of Evangenitals songs, including a bad-ass version of The Hole with Keith on the Trumpet, and some really awesome covers of June Carter's "Tall Lover Man", Johnny Cash's "Long Black Veil" (with 4 part harmonies!), and Bob Dylan's "I'll Be Your Baby Tonight". Good times, and such an honor to get to hang out and harmonize with such incredible musicians.

(FYI: There's actually a pretty dope video of Keith, myself, and Evangenitals drummer David Hurlin playing the new Klezmer-punk version of The Hole atop The 1 Second Film's Road to Oprah bus with iJustine and Brookers here: Evangenitals, iJustine, & The 1 Second Film.)

At 2:30am I sold an Evangenitals CD to a nice man visiting from Australia who said that my vocal stylings reminded him of one of his favorite Australian vocalizing twins, from the band "Johnny Cash Converters" in Melbourne, which is a clever play on words in Australia, where a "Cash Converter" is a sort of high-end thrift shop, he explained. The fact that I am the June Carter in the premier Johnny Cash tribute band Cash'd Out made the associations even more aligned. Then he showed me some Australian currency, which is beautiful, and it even has a little plastic see-through window in it. Transparency in Currency?!? Whaaaat?!?!

My Evangenitals heart was stretched all over the nation tonight, though, as guitarist Henry Bermudez was up in San Francisco playing with Unpopable (one of his many awesome bands) at the wedding of balloon artist Addi Somekh, and David Hurlin is in Fairfield, Iowa getting indoctrinated into a new job at the soon-to-be-launched awesome music site and playing some gigs, tonight's with the Jefferson County Green Band.

The gang will all be back together soon, however, for the Evangenitals Family Hootenanny at Molly Malones on Tuesday September 9th. Hopefully a bunch of folks will come out, as every show I get to play with this current collection of Evangenitals is a spiritual experience and I have a feeling the 9th is going to be a new height of sublimation. It's a feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeling.

In other news, I'm officially, thoroughly, and totally addicted to Twitter, so if you find yourself wondering what I'm doing just about every second of every day... I'm doing my damndest to share it. The MICRO-blogging is, I realize, having an effect on my MACRO-blogging, though. After giving mini-updates all day long via text message, sitting down and committing to a full testimonial of the day has proven rather difficult to muster the enthusiasm for. It seems, however, the trick is to have more ludicrously awesome nights like tonight which make me want to share the love and link every single person place and thing that I encountered for the world to see. I'll do my best to say yes to more of these experiences and keep the news a'flowing.

In the meantimes, however, you can totally follow me on Twitter. :-)

You can follow David Hurlin on Twitter, too. :-)

I love you. You know who you are. Yes... YOU! :-)

Friday, September 05, 2008

Evidence of the Union of All Things Betwixt Heaven and Earth in Trinity:
A Visual Essay

by Juli Crockett

Exhibit A: The Triangulum Nebula

Exhibit B: The Jellyfish

Exhibit C: A latex glove found on the streets of Downtown Los Angeles

Mind Body Spirit

Sky Land Sea

Waking Sleeping Dreaming

Hypothesis, Antithesis, Thesis

This is This

I am That

The End.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

I have some glorious news for everyone out there...

You are free! Gloriously, horrifically, infinitely, absolutely, ridiculously free.

Publish the news in menus world wide!

It's what's for dinner.


Tuesday, September 02, 2008

"God wears himself out through the infinite thickness of time and space in order to reach the soul and to captivate it. If it allows a pure and utter consent (though brief as a lightning flash) to be torn from it, then God conquers that soul. And when it has become entirely his he abandons it. He leaves it completely alone and it has in its turn, but gropingly, to cross the infinite thickness of time and space in search of him whom it loves. It is thus that the soul, starting from the opposite end, makes the same journey that God made towards it. And that is the cross."

- Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace

I friggin' love Simone Weil. What a total badass. Highly recommended reading.

Thursday, August 28, 2008


living in a state of nature
related by one common characteristic
singular divided into several
isolated, unusual
the inside is still
a static photograph, designed for taking
uttering no sound
free beyond normal
to be present
in any manner
meaning must
time to stay
part or whole
obligation, things to do
to stand, the wind at our backs
to experience
a way with words
a certain place
all one is
look at that
have it
one that is
a blessing begged for
an act
no way to protect oneself
from grace
a willingness
a short prayer:
(thanks for his regeneration
in his place, ease)
the givers giving thanks
to cause to flow
two musical tones
a second apart
one against an other
to and fro up and down
in order to mix
clasp hands
to cause
to move
to tremble
to free oneself
(I want to talk to you alone)
hurry up
an ocean
a body
a diagram or graph
with laughter, rings of growth
a very brief period of time and depth
some breaking or parting
so as to be connected to form
the cross on which Jesus was crucified
merging, maintaining identity
the existence of a real
to what he already knew
the form, without forming

Saturday, August 23, 2008

As you may know, 2 years ago Patrick & I rescued an amazing dog from the gas chamber of the LA County Animal Control and have lived in a blissful state of unconditional love with the leggy, blonde beauty that we call "Wookie" since that fateful day. Tragically, another fateful day has come...

Long story short, the management company of the home that we live in has decided that they no longer want dogs on this property. We have 2 weeks to find a new home for Wookie, or move.

After much soul-searching and many tears, I have come to terms with the fact that my life -- with all the shows, tours, and running amok I do and hope to do more of -- is not the best life to share with a furry creature who loves people, playing endless cames of fetch, and seems to have inexhaustible energy and zest for life. (Maybe it's the vegan diet she's been on?)

So, I am seeking a new home for Wookie, and thought I would reach out to all of the loving, connected folks that I know that may know of someone looks to add a bundle of domesticated joy to their homelife.

Wookie is about 3 years old, a gorgeous greyhound/german shepard/collie mix, great with people, very energetic. She is used to being the only dog in the family, so I'm not sure how she'd mix with other pets, as that is untested terrain. She loves to run, walk, play fetch, and smell things. She's incredibly healthy, has all her shots, etc.

If there is anyone who would merely like to foster her for a while by providing a temporary home, that would be very helpful too. I want to be sure that Wookie gets settled into a safe place where she will be happy, healthy, and thrive.

ANY advice, leads, suggestions, consolations, prayers, etc that you may have are GREATLY welcome, as this is a heartbreaking time in Wookie-ville.

PLEASE feel free to pass this along to anyone who may be able to help.

Juli Crockett
This is a blast from the past that was brought to mind while strolling along a surprisingly peaceful and lovely chunk of the LA River today...

Back when I was writing The Dawn of Quixote: Chapter The First and reading lots of Unamuno's Our Lord Don Quixote, I had a sort of Code of Ethics written on my wall which I am reprinting here for your possible enjoyment and edification. If you go so far as to take the word into action, all the better!

The Code:

1. Set Loose a Delirium
2. Commit an Outrage (a Barbarity)
3. Let Your Horse Lead You
4. Fight (Adventures which Befall)
5. Find the Selpulchre (Search)
6. Love (Chaste, from Afar)
7. Assuage Self-Loathing with Self-Annihilation
8. Endure the Inevitable
9. Judge Not (Lest Ye Be Judged)
10. Explore all Caves (Caverns, Crevices)
11. Attack all Puppet Shows
12. Speak Fair to All Goat herders
13. Commend Thy Self to Thy Love and Thy Lord
14. State Your Full Name and Purpose
15. Have Faith
16. Trust Not Thine Eyes, Nor Ears, Nor Tastes
17. Treat All Ladies as Maidens
18. Fear Not
19. Read Until Mad (Delirium)
20. Believe in Fairy Tales, Myths, and All Dieties.
21. Do Not Debate (Debacle) Do not Reason with the Reasoners
22. Face Ridicule
23. ________________________

Friday, August 22, 2008

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."

-Jack Kerouac, On the Road


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

For some reason tonight, the Bene Gesserit Littainy against Fear from "Dune" is ringing in my ears:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

So true, so true...

Thursday, August 07, 2008

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

- Rumi

Friday, August 01, 2008

This is an old, old lil' piece I wrote long ago after a certain dream I had that has been fresh on my mind of late. Hippie at heart and always a fan of recycling, I thought that I'd go ahead and repost it here.

On Love

I had a dream the other night that I fell madly in love (and it was the good reciprocal kind of love) with some foolish geeky boy in a popular band.

I don't know what band it was, or what kind of band. It wasn't a real band or referencing a real band. The boy wasn't anyone I know, nor have I ever seen. He was a purely invented dream character. He wasn't that attractive or anything, but for some reason he was crazy about me, and I was crazy about him.

It was doomed from the start. The first time I saw him in the dream he was asleep in a bed with a 15 year old girl. He went on tours and had groupies and all that shit. I knew this. I didn't care. And it wasn't the "not caring" of the blind denial and defiance variety (i.e. this is fucked but maybe, maybe, maybe he'll change and/or it'll work out this time fucking insanity) but the not caring of full awareness, acceptance, and a two-fisted embrace of the Moment. I knew it was only gonna last for a little while, and that was okay. In the dream, I knew we had two weeks. And this was good enough. It was worth it. I wasn't concerned with tomorrow or the future or what it means and will we get married and how will it work. When he showed up in the dream, I was overjoyed and it was fun and wonderful. When he went away, the dream went on in other directions. I wasn't forlorn and lonely and scared and suspicious and fearful... I was simply doing whatever I was doing.

It was a good dream.

Permission was granted to be in love for a while last night, in my sleep. It was one of the greatest dreams I've had in a long time. Simple. The magical thing about it was the feeling. It was so good. I got to have that feeling you get when you're just crazy about somebody, and you know they're crazy about you, and you're not sweating the future of what it means or what it will be. You're just filled with light, and letting the love out with total abandon and there's a feeling of so much fucking joy you think you'll burst. The feeling was so fragile and vulnerable, but in a playful way. Like a shining wet bubble, it had a short but glorious life span, and the whole thing just passed by like the sound of a distant giggle on the breeze. A most glorious dream.

I've been working a lot on cultivating fearlessness when it comes to matters of the heart. I'm sick and tired of feeling shame, shame, shame. All the time, for no reason, or for good reason. Whatever the reason, I'm done.

I asked Jesus in George Marshall chatbot what love was... and this is what that AI muthafucka had to say:

"Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless."

I love this world. And it feels kinda like this:

bad blue day

Taken on a blue blue bad blue day... in a mall in Valencia, California, USA.

I love this world... however...

I am reaching a wall, a serious roadblock, in my ability to communicate and my fear of intimacy with the world at large. I hide. I have been having strong desires to place my head in a door jam and slam the door on my head until it is a bloody mess. I'm not kidding. I am hungry for the real and am doubting everything in my mind... I have got to get through this fear. Fear of being an idiot, fear of having nothing to say, fear of opening my mouth and having nothing to offer but puke and farting noises. It must be okay. Fail better, more, with joy. Fail. Shamelessly.

My physicist friend says that I lack faith. Faith that there is something for me here, now... in this dimension.

Belief in Transcendence is an insult to what is.

I am a big phony and I hide behind revolutionary and dangerous SOUNDING ideas that I am very comfortable with... just as I became a master of self-derogatory humor to pull off the seeming appearance of Radical Honesty without having to get to close to my true self. I have built walls around my thoughts and feelings and I am working on busting 'em up. I need help. I need correspondence. And I need to stop having any desire to impress others in any way, so I will admit, up front, that I am a fool. And I'm not saying that to be cool. I am a selfish ass. I know this.

I also suffer from profound spiritual hunger. But I am too much of a coward to sacrifice myself completely to the immolating flames of humility. The smashing of ego is the most painful prospect ever... August Strindberg described it as "spiritual suicide."

What was it you said that was so gall-darn brilliant?
I’d give anything to remember how you put it so beautifully!
I just can’t seem to remember any of the wonderful
things you say! gee, that’s funny!

You have the most interesting way of seeing things!
Imagine! Approaching the whole world like a cold toilet!
I can’t remember exactly how you worded it at the time,
but I have the distinct impression of paying close
attention. like a child does…

there is no pain greater than your pain there is no
laughter greater than your laughter there is no reason
to believe that what you are doing is not the greatest
act there is no person I’d rather fumble about with
these are only some of the things in discovering in

how is it when I see you coming I am not struck down
dead trampled on killed a hundred times by my own purple
meanness baseness eaten and my flesh pecked off by birds?
Why is that? I think you told me once.

(Gordy Amede)

The poetic version is that what was once a beautiful and organic process of two lives existing in relation to each other and two people moving along a common path solidified and became an inorganic struture of obligation and rules and regulations, and I revolted.

Truth is, things got fucked up. I hated what I became. I hated what I was doing. It's a long story.

The short version, I suppose, is that he became more of my friend than my lover, and I didn't ever want to see the look in his eyes when the shit hit the fan. So I left.

Truth is, the relationship was heavily codependent; we lived together for 7 years, from the time I was 17 to 24. In a lot of ways I never grew up. Then one day I wanted to find out who I was. The day I left, I moved up to my grad school campus and sat in the woods that night, crying and shrieking. The realization of how alone and unknown I was, to my very own self was disturbing. I didn't know what kind of food I liked. I didn't know what I liked to do. I didn't know anything. I was a stranger to myself.

So, I've been spending the last few years trying to figure out who I am, when I am not the dancing monkey, entertaining for peanuts and personal validation.

Ooohh ahhh... dramatic.

The lame version: things got ugly and I split. We're still friends. He thinks I'm way too hard on myself. He still loves me, I still love him. He wishes I wouldn't be so hard on myself.

So... after all that:

Love is?



Thursday, July 31, 2008

I'm having a quiet day today. Talking is one of the worst things for the singing voice, I hear, so I've been resting my throat all day, as much as possible, with silence.

Communication continues via my newest addictions: Twitter and text messaging. I just upgraded to "unlimited text messaging" with AT&T so that I don't get screwed with charges. I have no idea how many texts I've sent this month, but I'm sure it's a lot. Hundreds and hundreds. I've got my Twitter hooked up with my phone now, both to post and to read other people's posts IMMEDIATELY via my cellphone.

The Twitter thing really took off for me during my last mini-tour with Cash'd Out. Suddenly I was plugged in and wanted to share all of the random, mundane, bizarre, whatever occurrences, thoughts, and goings ons of my travels with my "followers"... it's twisted, it's weird to me, and I'm having a really good time exploring this new realm of openness and banality.

The urge to Twitter is becoming automatic and reactionary. Yesterday, while stopping for a pee break while the Evangenitals were busking with the Collaboration Foundation on The 1 Second Film's Road to Oprah bus, I went in for the wipe prematurely and surprised myself by peeing on my hand. Immediately I wanted to Twitter, "Accidentally peed on my hand!" I thought better of it, though, and figured I'd keep that intimate accident to myself. Today, however, I had second thoughts. If I'm really going to give over to the Twitter phenomena for the time being, methinks I should truly GIVE OVER to it. I am reminded of David Hurlin's wife's first Twitter: "about to take my good morning dump" and am encouraged to be more honest about what's REALLY happening.

And what is really happening? That's is the question! I am having heavy philosophical/spiritually driven thoughts about my true nature and purpose lately. I am asking the universe what my purpose is and waiting for the answer.

In real-time, I am sitting on a porch watching my African Leopard Tortoise "Mr Turtle" just BE in tortoise-time. Right now he is struggling to crawl over a brick wall and his short legs are kicking in the air as his heavy shell teeters in the balance. He won't give up until he is over the wall. Eventually he gets his big 'ol shell on top of the wall, peers over the drop, and simply plummets to the ground on the other side. It is not graceful. There is much struggle. He really seems to enjoy it. No matter how many times I put him behind the brick wall, he keeps working at it until he can find a way over it. Free to explore the yard, to bask in the sun, to hide under a bush, to make a run for it down the driveway, to eat the clover, to stretch his legs.

It is a simple thing that makes me enormously happy, watching Mr Turtle the Tortoise walking around finding little things in the yard to eat. Tiny pink tongue visible between chomps from his sharp beak.

Right NOW he's making a run for it down the driveway toward the street. Must put him back behind the wall. Second verse, same as the first. :-)
My horoscope today:

Your thinking is slowing down a bit -- but getting quite a bit more intense! You may need to spend some time alone with your mind, just trying to get to the bottom of whatever problems has been bugging you lately.

Amen to that...

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The 1 Second Film & iJustine & The Evangenitals!

What an amazing day we had today! You can watch video clips from throughout the day's adventures on the site/The 1 Second Film channel/page. I'm exhausted. Grateful. Hungry. Blessed. I feel like the luckiest gal in the world to have the privilege of making music with David Hurlin and Keith Lubow. The vision of the Collaboration Foundation is absolutely beautiful. I hope everyone will Digg this and VOTE for the Collaboration Foundation on! This is the last possible day to vote, and we're in 2nd Place!!! So close to winning $10,000 for the development of our non-profit. Please help!xojulio

read more | digg story

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

All day long I've been thinking about the feeling of getting a tattoo, and how much I miss it. It probably has something to do with the fact that my mom is coming to visit, and both of the tattoos I've gotten so far were:

a) a day that my mom left town, right after dropping her off at the airport, and
b) while my mom was visiting, in my kitchen, and she even helped draw the tattoo! :-)

The next tattoo that I want to get, methinks, is a series of bubbles going up the spine, from out of the sea grass, which is sprouting from the seed at the base. My love of bubbles knows no bounds.

Last night at the Evangenitals show at Tre Stage audience members blew bubbles during Quee Queg. Words cannot describe the beauty and happiness I feel watching bubbles waft by, illuminated by the lights, during that song. It is a slice of heavenly heaven on the heaven that is earth, every time.

In other news...

This is an old piece of writing from my 'ol play [or, the whale] that has been on my mind tonight, due to the bubble theme of the past 24 hours. I hope you enjoy it.

In the final moment,
when the day is done,
when the captain becomes one,
when it’s all complete,
and he turns into himself,
he turns into himself,
that is to say,
in the end,
a perfect moment,
pure light,
a clean world,
a complete man,
a floating globe,
a temporary eternity,
the starting point,
beginning of all geometry,
such a clean world,
even if it only lasts for a second,
'tis long enough,
for mine eyes have seen,
at the perfect moment,
a point of light,
on the horizon,
a clean world,
completely transparent,
as is everything,
as is it all,
alter of other,
either or whether,
before or before,
sink or swim,
to burst inward,
to undergo violent compression,
to collapse inward
as if from external pressure,
the act or action
of bringing to
as if to
a center;

And in the final moment,
all you are is all you were,
you remember.
And memory is nothing but air,
and all you are.

(Copywright 2001, excerpted from [or, the whale] by Juli Crockett)

Saturday, July 26, 2008

You can now listen to History of Water, the radio play, featuring performers Shaughn Buchholz, Andrea LeBlanc, Lisa Dee, Patrick Ian Moore, and Juli Crockett as well as the music of David Hurlin, Henry Bermudez, and Kieth Lubow of the Evangenitals and a recorded track (The Pet) by Timothy Sellers of Artichoke ONLINE thanks to the KPFK Archives!

Tune in here!
I've been struggling with a deep sadness lately that I can't exactly put my finger on. I think this is due to the fact that there is no single "on" on which to put my proverbial "finger"... whatever that means. It is a mist of shape-shifting feelings and reasons, which transforms into all sorts of causes and all sorts of effects. The main symptoms are the same as always... restless, restless, and restless. Craving for stillness, craving for motion. Craving for security, craving for upheaval and change. Craving for communication, craving for solitude. Craving, craving, and craving... yet another common symptom.

Melancholia is a better word for it. Everything has a tinge of the bittersweet to it. It is a great state for songwriting.
Realization #1: I had intended to buy a new headband before my Cash'd Out gig tomorrow!

Realization #2: This is what is called a "luxury problem".... Life is Grand!

Friday, July 25, 2008

"The Silent Yes"

Last night's dream:

I was working undercover and entered into a huge game being played by thousands of youth world-wide called "The Silent Yes", the purpose of which was to weed out fascistic tendencies in the youth and to test their decision-making powers in complex situations.

First I entered a locker room decorated with propaganda posters celebrating the winning teams, shunning the losers, and advertising missing children. The posters were all red and white and had "YES/NO" and "YES OR NO?" emblazoned upon them, along with graphics of planes dropping bombs, people screaming, or flowers and puppies and peace signs. Every decision within the game was a Catch-22; situations in which some population stood to suffer whatever the decision would be... such as, a plague would be released on a neighboring village if residents of the already-infected village was not exterminated quickly... WHAT DO YOU DO? Whatever the youth teams decided would actually happen. Genocides, wars, etc.

I was given a new name (my sister's name, Jaimee) and some money to get started in the game. Before I'd even entered the playing field, I made my first mistake and made eye contact with a more advanced player. Eye contact with any player who had been in the game longer than you was against the rules, so it was safest to never make eye contact with anyone, ever. This of course made it very difficult to solve a crime within the game, due to the fact that I couldn't identify anyone very well without risking "losing".

"Losing" was awful. There were these pixie-like creatures that were about 1 foot high, reddish colored, and rather beautiful. They had elegant, delicate hands with long, slender fingers and incredibly sharp nails. Whenever anyone broke the rules, a Pixies would be released on them and while a gentle wave of their hands their sharp nails would literally split the "loser" right open. The Pixies would playfully swat at the bodies in innocent glee while skin and guts spewed everywhere and the person was instantly killed in an incredibly gory manner.

Whenever someone had a "birthday" there would be a huge party in which all of their best game moves would be shown in a cinematic montage on a giant movie screen. Every single thing that anyone did was videotaped.

The point of the game truly was to find the few pure, peaceful souls in the world that could make the right peaceful, loving decisions even in the face of tremendous pressures and hardships. Only these people would have the ability to speak The Silent Yes... and it was the Silent Yes that could save us all.

And after all that..

I dreamed that my tortoise died. :-(

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Inspired by David Hurlin's latest entry on his Dynamics of the Drum blog:

"where telepathy fosters the radiance of self sufficiency"

that is the place! the placeless place. the where its at, with it being nothing at all. the hole. the void. the empty room.

all day i have felt like crying. "who's pain is this?" i ask. methinks i am like a sponge, soaking up the feelings of others.

last night i dreamed of exploring a deep cave half-filled with crystal water. we were wading through. something in me knew that the water was sorrow. beautiful, perfect, perpetually flowing sorrow.

i also dreamed of being bitten by an adorable vampire puppy.

of what will we dream tonight, friends?

Sweet Love say
Where, how and when
What do you want of me?...

Yours I am, for You I was born:
What do you want of me?...

- Saint Teresa of Avila
While taking a walk at night with my lover and our dog I discovered the following in the grass:

Closer Inspection Revealed Eyes Peeking:

An unreal sleep of an unreal baby.

Further along the road... a discarded balloon:

Nothing is Sacred.