Tuesday, August 03, 2004

so so so.... sunday august 1st was my birthday. i turned 29 years old. i am now in the last year of my twenties. i don't really feel much of nothin' about it all, since i've felt like a nerdy 13 year old ever since i was 10. what can ya do?

there's certain birthday's that i'll never forget: my 21st on the corner of 9th Street & Avenue C in Manhattan, downstairs from my apartment at the RedBar, then BarCode, now who the hell knows... but there's still a bar there. I know that because when the clock struck midnight this year, I happened to be in Manhattan, in the midst of one of my more jackass adventures, and went for a walk down to my old corner...

the bar is there (under new management) the pizza joint i used to have deliver when i was too fucked up to take the stairs 3 flights down is there too, the chinese place i blamed for the mouse epidemic... there's a ton of new cafes and fru-fru digs down on C these days. the puerto rican panderia is gone, but the laundry is still there and there's more public gardens, making trees happen in the cement. it's alright. some things change and some remain. la dee dah.

we stopped in a Waffle House in Ohio on the way to Chicago from NYC the next night and Chaorta played me happy birthday on the jukebox. that gesture made the birthday stick in my mind. i'll remember where i was for 29.

i experienced homesickness for the first time on this trip. full-on. mighty pangs. homesick, lovesick. there's no place like home. (ironic that i even drove through kansas, twice, on this trip) there is no place like home. didn't even know for certain that i had a home till i went away.

i had a friend who used to say, "let's leave so we can come back"... i always liked that. the homecoming is a good thing. the heart exercise of missing everybody was good. the hard work and horrors of the road were spiritually edifying. i will take much from my journey, learn the lessons it offered up, have no regrets... never fear. walk away, stay put, whatever, whichever. nothing matters. it's all good in the hood. gravy, baby. let me be at peace. 2 weeks of sleep deprivation will now come to an end. g'night my friends.