Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Marvin Gaye said it and I'll say it again... What's going on?
What's going on?
I don't know. I've been a bit o the mess lately. Just hurting. Not just sissy hurting, either. Bones hurting, muscles hurting, head hurting, hands hurting, chest hurting. Aches and pangs.
Pain is the touchstone of growth and change gives me the willies, both ways: good and bad. I'm very excited about all the new developments, but I'm all tired and sore so I can necessarily show it, or feel it half the time.
I talked to my sister on the phone this morning and I rarely do that. She's out in North Carolina living in a Yert with her 40+ year old boyfriend who has no job, fears people, and smokes pot all the time. He's an artist. So is she, however, she has been working double shifts as a waitress for the past 5 years to support the both of them. The whole relationship started out on a bad karmic note, in my opinion, as part of his "wooing package" was the lofty promise of a very, very rich grandfather of his dying soon and leaving them buckets of ducets.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on your moral fiber, the Grandfather is still going strong and steady, showing no signs of kicking the proverbial bucket anytime soon. My sister, in the meantime, is spot in the center of a mini mid-life crisis, wondering just what the hell she's gotten herself into.
Now is the time to pray for the salvation of her soul, my friends, for she is right smack in the middle of the fence as far as what sort of soul she may turn out to be after all. Part of her is filled with idealistic cravings to save some thing that she calls "the world" from a grave peril that she sees going down all around. The other part of her, perverted by years of serving the extremely rich and incredibly rude of North Carolina, feels that if they can not be beaten, they must be joined.
She's considering starting law school. Anything to get the money. She said something about Donald Rumsfeld being the major stockholder for the company producing the cure to the bird flu, and how he wasn't born a monster. She spoke of Hitler being an environmentalist and a vegetarian. The best of intentions. She was very angry and hurting in all the ways, sissy and non.
I, for my part, have been working hard to neither damn nor deify what the O'Jays so smoothly called the Almighty Dollar.
In other news, I'm working on new methods of communication and new planes of intimacy with the Significant Other, considering going to hypnotherapy (expect a full report on that one!), and will be doing my first session with a "prayer therapist" and "metaphysical counselor" this weekend. I suspect that it may be either a)an incredible and spiritually enlightened experience, or b)totally give me the jeebs.
Whatever way the cookie crumbles, I shall be back here soon enough, pouring out my soul excavations for you to mine for the nuggets of sweet somethings that can be applicable to your own search and experience mission.
That is my aim, and my aim is true.*
*actually, to be perfectly honest and more forthcoming than I ought, my AIM is actually "juliachrista" ;-)
Till then, I return to working on my Evangenitals' style cover of Kelly Clarkson's Since U Been Gone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah... I'm not the first, of course. Who cares? It was a special request from Steve Diet Goedde (a big fan of the Genitals), and how the heck am I supposed to turn down a friggin' legend?