Ahhh... LIFE!

Full to bursting. Ain't it grand?

My horoscope keeps telling me to make time for my sweetheart, yet I cannot! LIFE! FULL TO BURSTING!

When I am awoken in the middle of the night, I am one of the angriest people on earth. It is surprising even to myself. First response, RAGE! My dentist tells me that I grind my teeth. I wake up sore from tensed muscles. Aching shoulders pulled up into my ears, fists clenched, and the first sound I hear is that SCRAPE of my teeth separating, on a sideward slide. This is my restful state.

What is going on in that unconscious time? Why so tense and angry? My dreams do not seem to provide too much insight into the underlying causes of my absolute irritability. My answers lay elsewhere, these days.

I haven't been meditating. That is a great cause of tension and buzzing static brain syndrom. There is nothing worse that the impotent buzzing of a brain on the fuzz. Alright, that's an overstatement. That Holocaust was worse than me having unproductive brain activity. I retract my previous statement.

Ahh.... the Holocaust! That eternal trump card! #1 on the most ungrateful bitches gratitude list. This is not that. I am not there. All is relatively well.

I will shut my mouth and thank God for the life I have. Two sharp floggings with the horse-hair whip, walk a mile on my knees, and all is forgiven. Amen.

I haven't been writing.

Lack of writing leads to physical pain in my body.

My throat gets dry and scratchy with unexpressed speeches. My upper back gets sore, non-utterances building up in my chest cavity. My stomach aches, my skin breaks out, I get irritable, I'm tired all the time, I gain weight. It's a fucking nightmare.

And why am I not writing? Because I'm tired, I'm busy, my throat hurts, my skin is breaking out, I have a stomach ache, wha wha wha. Catch-22.

My boyfriend asked me yesterday if it is possible to become stupider. I said, "Yes, and it is happening to MEEEEEEEE!"

Before my boyfriend "happened" I didn't have cable television, I read more books, I spent more time with my band, I went hiking and did pilates.

Before my stint in the sex industry turned into a "real job" I used to wander in and out on my own freakish schedule.

It's easy to blame anything other than myself for my shortcomings. What I'm not doing. Wow, it feels weird to whine. Kinda good, and seriously pathetic. I dig it.

Why am I not writing? Well, I work full time, I'm in this band, I'm directing this play that I wrote (back when I used to write) and I have this dog and this boyfriend and I just moved into an apartment and I'm having this viewing party for the Sierra Club tonight and I'm a Jack of All Trades and a Master of None and I need new tires for my car and I've still got another load of shit to bring over from the old house to the new apartment and I haven't unloaded my trunk from the last haul and it has been a week of lugging a trunk full of stuff around. I bet that's wasting gas. Did I mention I'm behind on homework? Got to get ready to go back to Switzerland this summer and study with Jean Baudrillard, that nostalgic old poot. God bless his cold, hard stare.

I wanted to quit my job the sex toy company the other day, so I could stay home and read and write all day. Not realistic. I've got bills! After all, money doesn't grow on trees.

I am unwilling. Unwilling to "cut down" and "focus"... I just can't do it. ADHD? Not at all. The Void! Lack! Desire's drive to explode into infinity! More! More!

I miss this. I miss the sound of my mind translated into clicks and clacks and words in front of my eyes. I miss the fearlessness and lack of editing.

I miss you. All of you.

Welcome back, Crockett.

Call for Musicians:

Juli Crockett (libretto/direction) and Jeremy Zuckerman (composer) are seeking a group of talented, committed musicians for a workshop production of a new experimental opera “Orpheus Crawling” which will be showing at the 24th Street Theater on April 29th.

Open seats: violin 1, violin 2, viola, cello, harp, drums, keyboards. If you are passionate about being involved and play an instrument other than the aforementioned, please feel free to contact us and let us know about you and your instrument.

Ideal Skills: should be familiar with traditional and extended playing techniques. must be able to read standard notation. Performers must be open-minded and willing to commit to 2-3 rehearsals a week for the month of April.

This will not be a traditional ensemble -- think Sigur Ros, Sonic Youth, Beth Gibbons, Mort Subotnick, Trevor Wishart, Gorecki, Pink Floyd, Ween and Brian Eno. (If you can think all of those at the same time, you’re probably the right player for us!)

If interested, please email your resume and an introduction to Jeremy Zuckerman (jz@sonicartist.com) or Juli Crockett (juli@evangenitals.com). We will provide you with more information and set up an audition.

About Us:

Jeremy Zuckerman – Bio

Jeremy grew up in the rural New York town of Slate Hill, where his musical leanings surfaced early. Like many kids, his first instrument was piano--he began taking lessons at age 5. Guitar and cello followed, and in his early teens, rock guitar (with the long hair and metal t-shirts to match) became his main focus.

After high school, Jeremy packed his guitars (including one hand-made by a friend and affectionately referred to as "Zarf"), and left for the Berklee College of Music in Boston. At Berklee, he was introduced to the new compositional possibilities of music technology and sonic art through his professor, Richard Boulanger. Widening his scope beyond traditional instruments, Jeremy earned a BFA in music with an emphasis in Production and Engineering and Synthesis.

After graduating from Berklee, Jeremy once again packed his guitars, along with a burgeoning collection of electronic equipment, and headed West, to Southern California, where he received an MFA in Composition/New Media from the California Institute of the Arts. At CalArts he studied composition privately with Morton Subotnick and Mark Trayle.

Jeremy and fellow Track Team founder Ben Wynn , compose the music and sound design for Nickelodeon's hit animated series, Avatar, the Last Airbender. Jeremy's compositions and sound design have been used in dance, theater, film, television, installations and many award-winning commercials. Other projects include instrumental, programming and production work for David Lee Roth, Cellophane Babies, Mileece, cSounds and Endless Noise. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, two cats and a formerly stray dog.

Juli Crockett – Bio

Juli's life and career of provides certain proof that, in creative matters, the shortest distance between two points isn't necessarily a straight line, but that the crooked one is fascinating.

Alabama-born with a Canadian mother, raised through her teenage years in Central Florida, Juli attended the Pinellas County Center for the Arts. She transplanted briefly for her junior year in Bermuda and was featured in performances at the Bermuda Musical and Dramatic Society. Juli moved to New York to continue her studies where she earned a BFA in theater at NYU's Tisch School.

While in New York, Juli directed several plays, including Brecht's Jungle of Cities at the Red Room and adaptations of the radio drama The Shadow and Dylan Thomas' Doctor in the Devils at Tisch. After a short stop in Guatemala where Juli did voluntary theater workshops at a rural public school, she moved to Los Angeles to pursue an MFA in Directing at California Institute of the Arts. At CalArts, her production of Strindberg's Easter was called "transportational" by Butoh master Dawn Saito, and her thesis project [or, the whale], an adaptation of Melville's Moby Dick, written and directed by Juli, was a landmark production at the school.

The text of [or, the whale] was later presented in the Moby Dick 2001 conference at Hofstra University, and was also used as the foundation for the inaugural production of the TENT performance group in Portland, Maine.

Simultaneous with her entry into Graduate school, Juli began competing as an amateur boxer, winning the Los Angeles District title two years in a row, followed by the Blue & Gold National title. After graduation, she turned pro, enjoying a short but impressive undefeated boxing career of 3-0, two KOs in the 135 lb. lightweight division. In 2003, after an injury during training, she reluctantly retired from boxing and started a county-funk-folk band, The Evangenitals, for which she is lead vocalist and principal songwriter.

Today Juli’s exhaustive performing schedule is interwoven with her equally passionate attention to ongoing vocations as playwright and stage director; she continues her education pursuing an advanced degree in philosophy; and at the same time she earns her living as a webmaster within one of the world's largest independent distributors of sex toys and related erotic paraphernalia.

Juli's last work, The Dawn of Quixote: Chapter the First, inspired by the writings of philosopher Unamuno y Jugo, has been featured two years in a row in Los Angeles' cutting edge theater festival "Edgefest" and was the grand opener for the Explorer Series at the 24th Street Theater in Los Angeles.

Juli’s writing is the central theme of her varied interests. The band keeps her creating continuously, many of the lyrics derived from her poetry and stories. She is a columnist for several online e-zines and her writings have been republished in various print magazines. Currently, Juli is working on a collection of short stories, a screenplay based on the Book of Job, the outline of a novel, and theatrical adaptations of Kierkegaard’s Either/Or, the Fausts, the Orpheus myth, and the life and sufferings of Saint Simone Weil.

Here we go!

I'm gettin' all activist, and you're invited!

With the help of the Sierra Club, I'm throwing a viewing party on Friday, March 24th at 8pm, offering up my abode and my boyfriend's 42 inch plasma television to screen some short documentary films about Exxon and ye olde Valdez oil spill that they've yet to pay the tab for.

I hope you can join me -- it's a fun way to make a difference.

Not sure yet if you can come? Go ahead and click on the link below and choose "maybe" on the RSVP page. That will help me with planning, while you check your schedule.
Also, if you're interested in lending a hand planning this event, I could use all the help I can get!

For more details about this invitation and to RSVP online, go to: http://www.partylaunch.com/sierraclubtv/parties?e=evangenitals&userid=x

Come on down! It's a great way to fight the good fight, and this night can serve as a quasi-housewarming for my new apartment at the same time.

Cheers,
Julio

Hey guys.

I can't make it to this show tonight, but it sounds absolutely awesome
so I thought I'd tip of the rest of y'all --

The man's name is Phillip Roebuck, and he's a ONE MAN BAND. Aww yeah!
And he's playing tonight at Pennylane Records in Pasadena FOR FREE.

I love it.

Represent, represent.

Here's a link to his Myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/philliproebuck

Spread the love.

Support the man with a drum on his back.

xoxo
julio